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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010.

The chart shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010.
#percentage #teachers #six #uk
The table illustrates how much time UK unemployed spend
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
 free time in 14 different categories.
Overall
, it is clear, that housework by
women
 in the morning is
far
Change preposition
by far
show examples
 the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
highest amount in total.
To begin
 with, in the morning
men
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
usually spend their time
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping and job hunting,
while
 ladies
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 the daily chores.
Furthermore
, in
afternoon
Correct article usage
the afternoon
show examples
men
 are likely to do gardening and
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
 TV, in comparison with
women
 who
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
mostly
reading
Wrong verb form
read
show examples
 and
also watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
 something
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the TV.
Moreover
, in the early hours only 2 per cent of
men
drinking
Wrong verb form
drink
show examples
,
similarly
Change the word
similar
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
women
 since their numbers in the same
categorie
Correct your spelling
category
 is only 1%.
However
, in
afternoon
Correct article usage
the afternoon
show examples
 1% of
men
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bed, similar to
women
due to
 their amount
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 zero.
Finally
, it is
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
notable
 that
women
's highest percentages are in the housework
ascpect
Correct your spelling
aspect
also
 in the morning and in
afternoon
Add an article
the afternoon
an afternoon
show examples
 as well.
On the other hand
men
's highest score is in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job hunting and in the TV streaming categories.
Submitted by palvdori on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, men with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational settings
  • percentage
  • representation
  • disparities
  • predominance
  • gender imbalance
  • societal expectations
  • historical roles
  • implications
  • trends
  • gender gap
  • educational outcomes
  • gender stereotypes
  • policies
  • initiatives
  • perceptions
  • effectiveness
  • primary school
  • secondary school
  • nursery
  • university
  • further education
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