IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely succesfull at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Obviously, advertising plays both positive and negative roles in
people
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's lives.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that advertising plays an important role in influencing our purchasing decisions, others argue that advertising does not necessarily compel us to buy.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and provide my own point of view. Some
people
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 believe that advertising does not persuade them to buy for two reasons.
Firstly
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, they feel that the tools advertised by marketers are fraudulent, leading to a lack of trust in the sellers.
For example
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, many individuals fail to pay attention to the seller's information, which results in a lack of trust.
Additionally
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, repetitive advertising styles are uninteresting to them, as they prevent a change in
people
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's minds.
For instance
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, when individuals are bombarded with one type of advertising on every street in the city, they tend to ignore it.
Therefore
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, advertising styles need to change to attract advocates and encourage
people
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 to make
purchases
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. Other
people
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, including myself, argue that advertising leads to
purchases
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 for several reasons.
Firstly
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, when tourists visit a
country
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, it showcases our
products
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 on a global scale.
For instance
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, when tourists visit our
country
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, advertisers can present traditional
products
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 to them, leading them to purchase souvenirs.
This
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 is because our traditional
products
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 contribute to the recognition of our
country
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 worldwide.
Secondly
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, advertising advances our lives by introducing new
products
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 and helping us adapt to changes in our routines. Our society needs exposure to new technology to improve our quality of life.
Therefore
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, advertising promotes marketing within the
country
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 and enhances our
country
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's global recognition. In conclusion,
while
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 some individuals may argue that advertising can not
induces
Correct subject-verb agreement
induce
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for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
routine
purchases
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, I personally believe that advertising persuades us to buy, which is advantageous for developed countries and the expansion of product variety.
Therefore
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, advertising is effective in convincing
people
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 to make
purchases
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task achievement
The essay partially addresses the prompt, but there's a scope of clarity in discussing both views distinctively before articulating the personal opinion. Each view could have been explored in separate paragraphs with clear topic sentences for better task achievement.
coherence cohesion
While there is logical sequencing, more attention to the use of linking words and phrases could improve the flow of ideas. Paragraphs should be well-developed with clear main ideas followed by supporting information and examples.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuasive
  • consumer behavior
  • brand awareness
  • emotional appeal
  • targeted advertising
  • social media platforms
  • ad fatigue
  • desensitized
  • ad-blockers
  • overexposure
  • brand loyalty
  • repetitive
  • irrelevant
  • personalized advertising
  • influencer marketing
  • interactive ads
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