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Band 2.5

Some people say that living in high-rise apartments feels very lonely, and makes people unhappy. Others say there are advantages to lining in an independent house. Discuss both views and ggive your opinions.

#people #apartments #house #ggive
The given line graph illustrates the changing rates of three different crimes in New Port city
center
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centre
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 between 2003 and 2012.
Overall
, all categories ended up in AT the similar points where they started even though they went through some fluctuations, except for Burglary, which massively decreased.
Firstly
, starting at the lowest point, Robbery stood at just above 500 before increasing around twofold and reached a peak in 2005.
Furthermore
, after experiencing a steady decline
to
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from
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 its starting number in 2008, it
then
 moderately rose by 250 in 2010.
Finally
, it once again dropped to its initial number before rising to about 750 in the final year. Taking a closer look at the others, burglary and car theft stood approximately at 3400 and 2800 respectively.
Afterward
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Afterwards
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, the former reached a peak
to
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of
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 3700 in 2004 before dramatically decreasing to around 1200 in 2008.
Similarly
, car theft hit a trough
to
Change preposition
in
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 2000 in 2006.
However
, it
then
 slightly increased by 200 in 2007 which made them converged at around 2200 between 2006 and 2007.
Therefore
, burglary remained relatively steady at roughly around 1500
while
 car theft significantly rose to 2700 in 2012.
Submitted by pink panther on

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Task Response
Your essay does not adhere to the actual question prompt. You must address the given topic of the advantages and disadvantages of living in high-rise apartments and independent houses, providing a balanced discussion on both views followed by your own opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has an introduction that addresses the topic and a conclusion that summarizes your discussion and opinion. This will give clarity to your essay structure and make your argument more comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop clear main ideas for each paragraph and support them with relevant examples or explanations. Stay focused on the topic and make sure each point contributes to your overall argument or discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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