Competitiveness is generally considered a good quality for people to have in society. Do you think it is a positive development or negative trend ? How does competitiveness affect individuals?
Competition
in current time
has become a main issue not only Fix the agreement mistake
times
in
a Change preposition
on
locally
scale but Change the adverb
local
also
in a globally
Change the adverb
global
context
. This
topic seems to bring a positive development
rather than the
negative one. Correct article usage
a
Likewise
, people
in a society in which they compete over something will likely has
Change the verb form
have
vast
amount of good opportunity owing to personal Add an article
a vast
development
.
According to
context
of Add an article
the context
competition
scope, the antecedent theories of competition
bring
Wrong verb form
brought
from
globally renowned economist, Adam Smith, Change preposition
by
is
Verb problem
objected
objected-heavily
Correct your spelling
heavily
on
comparative advantages. Change preposition
to
This
term means every single entities
in the world has Change to a singular noun
entity
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
it
special characteristics and or resources. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Thus
, it makes they
able to compete with others. To elucidate Correct pronoun usage
them
this
opinion, in
a Change preposition
on
miniscule
scale, Correct your spelling
minuscule
people
has
Change the verb form
have
innate
Add an article
an innate
trait
that Fix the agreement mistake
traits
bring
special abilities, Change the verb form
brings
such
as an
astute Correct article usage
apply
skill
. Fix the agreement mistake
skills
This
skill act
like a weapon for the Correct subject-verb agreement
acts
people
to enhance their bargain
power, Replace the word
bargaining
such
as to negotiate a salary in a job. In global
Add an article
the global
a global
context
, similarily
, Correct your spelling
similarly
this
resources Change the determiner
these
act
like ability
that Correct article usage
an ability
allow
the countries to offer Change the verb form
allows
a
stuff that may impossible Remove the article
apply
produce
effectively in Fix the infinitive
to produce
another countries
. Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
For example
, Indonesia has strong advantages on
Change preposition
in
it
tropical climate that Correct pronoun usage
its
permit
Correct subject-verb agreement
permits
them
to produce several exotic woods, by which Correct pronoun usage
it
they
can sell to Correct pronoun usage
it
another countries
which does not Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
this
kind of lucre
. Correct your spelling
luxury
Therefore
, the competition
is truly a positive development
to ignite a
personal Correct article usage
apply
development
albeit it has several bad attributes, such
as discord potentials.
By dechipering
the Correct your spelling
deciphering
competition
term, it can be easily derivated to the fathomness
on individual effect. Both Correct your spelling
fathomless
of
small Change preposition
apply
or
big Correct word choice
and
context
involves the role of individuals. People
need to identify their abilities that bring advantages to win a competition
. For instance
, students that
Correct pronoun usage
who
join
a university entrance exam need to understand their mastery Verb problem
take
subjects
. Change preposition
of subjects
This
act
will enhance the possibility of the student to be admitted in
their Change preposition
to
desire
universities. Replace the word
desired
Furthermore
, in more
global Add an article
a more
the more
context
, the policy maker
Correct your spelling
policymaker
individual
Correct word choice
apply
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
a
scrutiny to decide whether the Remove the article
apply
act
that may
they take will bring the country to Verb problem
apply
the
victory or not. Correct article usage
apply
This
indirect effect will lead people
to be more critical and may reap a
better Correct article usage
apply
skill
.
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
To conclude
, competition
is indeniable
in Correct your spelling
undeniable
this
globalization era and engulf
Correct subject-verb agreement
engulfs
entire
world. Yet, it can lure an opportunity to an individual without any exceptions. Add an article
the entire
People
cannot withhold their self from this
phenomenon. They need to engage and embrace it by which they can develop them n self
.Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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coherence cohesion
Throughout the essay, while there is an attempt to create a coherent argument, the writing would benefit from a clearer and more systematic organisation of ideas. Transition words and paragraphs should smoothly lead the reader through the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present; however, they could be more effectively framed to introduce the topic and summarise the argument clearly.
coherence cohesion
The main points are present and are an attempt to support the argument. Nevertheless, developing these points with more precise examples and more in-depth explanations will help strengthen the coherence of the text.
task achievement
A clear argument is developed, but the response could be further expanded by examining both sides of the issue to give a balanced view and providing a more detailed explanation of how competitiveness affects individuals.
task achievement
While the essay provides some understanding of the topic, the response would benefit from clearer, more comprehensive ideas. Strive for clarity in conveying your points and avoid overly complex sentences that can confuse the reader.
task achievement
Relevant examples are attempted but remain vague. Include specific, concrete examples to illustrate points made, these could make the argument more persuasive and substantiate the claims.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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