IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it? what do you think are the main causes of this problem abd what measures could be taken to solve it ?

#homelessness #cities #world #measures #abd
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the contemporary era, it is irrefutable that
remarkable
Correct article usage
a remarkable
show examples
 amount of
people
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
. there are a lot of reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
increased
Add an article
the increased
an increased
show examples
 number of homeless
people
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 rent prices and family issues. I firmly believe that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
shoul
Correct your spelling
should
 be taken
precuation
Correct your spelling
precaution
precautions
 to solve
this
 issue. On the one hand, especially in big cities
such
 as Los Angeles and New York,
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of homeless
people
 has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased in 10 years. most of them complain about increased rent prices. Every year more than 5000
people
 become homeless
due
Change preposition
because
show examples
 to cannot afford
renting
Replace the word
rent
show examples
.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 it is not the only reason for being homeless.
For instance
, families let their children to
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
 when they
become
Verb problem
turn
show examples
 18 in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
.
According to
 researchers, 2 of 10 young
people
 have to live
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
 because of family problems. families think that they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have to take care
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 children after they become 18 unless they are working.
Thus
,
people
 starting to live on
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
. what can we do about it?
this
 problem cannot
fix
Wrong verb form
be fixed
show examples
 by individual effort. Governments and nations have to be a part of the solution. They can
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
encourage homeless
people
 to work
otherwise
 they will lose their independence and will belong to
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
 forever.
moreover
, dormitories could
build
Wrong verb form
be built
show examples
 by governments and they can live there until they create new life.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 half of
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 who
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
streets
 tend to create life if they have
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
show examples
. In conclusion,
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
light of these arguments, we can clearly say that, whether family issues or rental prices
people
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 out
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 house and governments are the only
place
Change the noun form
places
show examples
 to solve
this
 problem.
Submitted by heisikdogan99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
You should ensure that your essay is logically organized. Ideas should flow naturally from one to the next, with clear transitions.
coherence cohesion
Check that your introduction and conclusion are both clearly presented and that they tie together the main points of the essay. Avoid generalized or incomplete conclusions.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with detailed explanations, clear reasoning, or specific examples. Avoid making unsupported statements or general claims.
task achievement
Your response must fully address all parts of the task. Ensure that you provide a clear and direct answer to the question, with a developed argument or discussion.
task achievement
The ideas should be clear and comprehensive. Work on clarity in expressing your arguments and making sure that the points covered are understandable and well-articulated.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to back up your points. General statements should be accompanied by specific details that help illustrate or explain your argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: