IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You have just read an article in international travel magazinewhich contained some information about your town that is incorrect. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. In your letter Corract the information in the article Explain why it is important for the magazine to give correc information Suggest what the magazine should do about this situation

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Dear Sir/Madam, The purpose of
this
 letter is to give some information about the contents of your magazine published yesterday. When I paid attention to the head of it, I realized there were some mistakes in my city(Tehran) that I should tell you about. As you know, Tehran is one of the most populated cities in the world. You said its population is about 10 million, but clearly, it is 13 million that live here. There are some small cities around here that go to Tehran for work or something else, which is
due to
this
 issue. I know your magazine is an excellent source for
this
 issue, and it is very significant to publish correct information because you have many followers who check it. It is your credit to tell the truth about cities and countries. Would it be a good idea to research better before publishing?
Although
 there are always some mistakes, writing reality information is a particular subject. Perhaps you should check your sources and pay more attention to them. Yours faithfully
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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greeting and closing
Ensure that your greeting and closing are conventional and appropriate for a letter to an editor. Your greeting could be improved by addressing the editor more formally, such as using 'Editor-in-Chief' or including the magazine's name.
task achievement
While the main points were covered, more elaboration on each point and a clearer progression of ideas could strengthen the response. Consider adding detailed reasons, consequences, or specific examples to fully support your points.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs, and check for the clear presentation of one central idea per paragraph. Transitional phrases could improve the flow of ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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