Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some parents and
teachers
believe that competition for children
at school
needs to be supported, while
others prefer that the co-operating method at school
will have a greater impact on children
's future. This
essay agrees that co-operate will be more essential than competition; however
, this
essay will cover both sides.
On one hand, children
learn to take collaborative acts from school
as they tend to socialize and make friends from there. When teachers
approach co-operative
learning methods, Correct your spelling
cooperative
children
as students will be determined to make a bigger impact not only on their rank and grades
but also
by collaboration and encouragement to do bigger things together with
their classmates or extracurricular teams at school
. For example
: student
in elementary Add an article
a student
grades
can bravely promote hand-wash campaigns around school
collaboration with young health organizations as supported by their teachers
.
On the other hand
, when teachers
take a competitive learning method at school
, students tend to be more ambitious with their grades
. It also
continues at their home, where parents will push their children
to take other study tutors to boost their grades
and rank in every subject. It can be hard for children
to explore their interests and preferences because they just focus and spend the majority of their time on academic things. For example
, children
who love to play piano
will decrease their practice time Change the article
the piano
due to
academic tutoring most of the day.
In conclusion, the learning methods at school
will impact children
in their lives and behaviors
from each co-operate or competitive ways. Change the spelling
behaviours
However
, as long as we keep the competitive and co-operate portion balance in school
and home, the good sides are undeniably favorable
.Change the spelling
favourable
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear and distinct central idea that is fully elaborated. At times, the essay lacks clear transitions and logical sequence of ideas which affects the logical structure. Try to use a range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task. The essay needs to have a more developed argument, with a clear position throughout the response. Both sides of the argument were covered, however, they were not equally developed and the examples given were not entirely convincing.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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