Many people believe that competitive sports have a positive impact on individuals and society. However, others argue that competitive sports can have negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Competitive race competition,
sports
are a common thing in our society
. It can be organised by an individual or people
in society
for entertainment. well, in this
case, I agree that competitive sports
have a positive impact on individuals and society
. Therefore
, I would agree that it exerts a greater negative influence on individuals and society
.
To begin
with, it has a positive impact on people
by helping them with their communication skills and making them socialised. If a person participates in a sport, he gets to meet different types of people
there. For instance
, we all live in a society
but do not know everyone who belongs to our society
. Sports
can be a great medium to meet new people
. If sports
are organised in a society
, we join in this
event and get to talk with the other contestants. Taking part in sports
helps to improve our communication skills as well. Spending time
together for a long time
, experiencing the same things and sharing moments brings unity.
secondly
, competitive sports
fall under the negative side. People
who take part in a competitive sports
competition may have injuries while
playing. For example
, If anyone is determined to win, he loses common sense for a while
. He gives his best shot to be the winner and that may cause an accident due to
his inability to make the right decision at that time
. on the other hand
, competition ignites jealousy in a person. The ambition of getting the prize and popularity can destroy one
's sense of humour. The hatred spreads in a group of people
, they end up harming the other one
. For Example
, most of the time
we see inCorrect article usage
a
one
player kicks out another Correct pronoun usage
that one
one
intentionally,and as a result
, it leads to an accident.
To conclude
, Competitive sports
are a great example of Socialism. It has some positive impacts on people
but I think there are more negative consequences than other ones exploring the reasons I have discussed in this
essay.Submitted by niloyirtisam on
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction lacks a clear thesis statement, which should explicitly state the intention to discuss both views and your opinion. Including a clear thesis would enhance the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You should ensure each paragraph contains one clear main idea, and that they follow logically from one to the next to create a coherent argument that flows well. This includes using a variety of linking words and phrases to show connections between ideas.
coherence cohesion
While supporting examples are present, they need to be more directly tied to the points you are making to ensure they clearly support your argument. Each example should directly relate to the point it's intended to support.
task achievement
Your essay partially responds to the task. However, you must ensure that you cover both sides of the argument comprehensively, respecting the balance that the question demands. Additionally, your own opinion should be clear throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas should be developed more fully to be comprehensive and clear. This includes enhancing each point with more detailed reasoning and examples.
task achievement
Make sure that your examples are specific, clear, and relevant to the topic. Relate each example directly back to the topic to ensure relevance.