Many people believe that competitive sports have a positive impact on individuals and society. However, others argue that competitive sports can have negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sports #impact #individuals #society #consequences

Competitive

sports

are a common thing in our

society

. It can be organised by an individual or

people

society

for entertainment. well, in

this

case, I agree that competitive

sports

have a positive impact on individuals and

society

Therefore

, I would agree that it exerts a greater negative influence on individuals and

society

To begin

with, it has a positive impact on

people

by helping them with their communication skills and making them socialised. If a person participates in a sport, he gets to meet different types of

people

there.

For instance

, we all live in a

society

but do not know everyone who belongs to our

society

Sports

can be a great medium to meet new

people

. If

sports

are organised in a

society

, we join in

this

event and get to talk with the other contestants. Taking part in

sports

helps to improve our communication skills as well. Spending

time

together for a long

time

, experiencing the same things and sharing moments brings unity.

secondly

, competitive

sports

fall under the negative side.

People

who take part in a competitive

sports

competition may have injuries

while

playing.

For example

, If anyone is determined to win, he loses common sense for a

while

. He gives his best shot to be the winner and that may cause an accident

due to

his inability to make the right decision at that

time

on the other hand

, competition ignites jealousy in a person. The ambition of getting the prize and popularity can destroy

one

's sense of humour. The hatred spreads in a group of

people

, they end up harming the other

one

For Example

, most of the

time

we see in

Correct article usage

show examples

race competition,

one

Correct pronoun usage

that one

show examples

player kicks out another

one

intentionally,and

as a result

, it leads to an accident.

To conclude

, Competitive

sports

are a great example of Socialism. It has some positive impacts on

people

but I think there are more negative consequences than other ones exploring the reasons I have discussed in

this

essay.

Submitted by niloyirtisam on Sun Jan 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction lacks a clear thesis statement, which should explicitly state the intention to discuss both views and your opinion. Including a clear thesis would enhance the logical structure of your essay.

coherence cohesion

You should ensure each paragraph contains one clear main idea, and that they follow logically from one to the next to create a coherent argument that flows well. This includes using a variety of linking words and phrases to show connections between ideas.

coherence cohesion

While supporting examples are present, they need to be more directly tied to the points you are making to ensure they clearly support your argument. Each example should directly relate to the point it's intended to support.

task achievement

Your essay partially responds to the task. However, you must ensure that you cover both sides of the argument comprehensively, respecting the balance that the question demands. Additionally, your own opinion should be clear throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.

task achievement

Your ideas should be developed more fully to be comprehensive and clear. This includes enhancing each point with more detailed reasoning and examples.

task achievement

Make sure that your examples are specific, clear, and relevant to the topic. Relate each example directly back to the topic to ensure relevance.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

334 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that competitive sports have a positive impact on individuals and society. However, others argue that competitive sports can have negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Most employers nowadays put increasing emphasis on social skills. Some people believe that social skills are important in addition to good qualification for job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

In some countries students pay the collage and universities fees themselves, but in other it is paid by the government. Do the advantages of government money outweigh the disadvantages?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays it is easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people experience problems when they are not able to pay their debts back. Do the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?