Many people believe that competitive sports have a positive impact on individuals and society. However, others argue that competitive sports can have negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sports #impact #individuals #society #consequences

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Competitive

sports

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are a common thing in our

society

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. It can be organised by an individual or

people

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society

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for entertainment. well, in

this

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case, I agree that competitive

sports

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have a positive impact on individuals and

society

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Therefore

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, I would agree that it exerts a greater negative influence on individuals and

society

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To begin

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with, it has a positive impact on

people

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by helping them with their communication skills and making them socialised. If a person participates in a sport, he gets to meet different types of

people

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there.

For instance

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, we all live in a

society

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but do not know everyone who belongs to our

society

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Sports

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can be a great medium to meet new

people

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. If

sports

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are organised in a

society

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, we join in

this

Linking Words

event and get to talk with the other contestants. Taking part in

sports

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helps to improve our communication skills as well. Spending

time

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together for a long

time

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, experiencing the same things and sharing moments brings unity.

secondly

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, competitive

sports

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fall under the negative side.

People

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who take part in a competitive

sports

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competition may have injuries

while

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playing.

For example

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, If anyone is determined to win, he loses common sense for a

while

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. He gives his best shot to be the winner and that may cause an accident

due to

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his inability to make the right decision at that

time

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on the other hand

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, competition ignites jealousy in a person. The ambition of getting the prize and popularity can destroy

one

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's sense of humour. The hatred spreads in a group of

people

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, they end up harming the other

one

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For Example

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, most of the

time

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we see in

Correct article usage

show examples

race competition,

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one

Correct pronoun usage

that one

show examples

player kicks out another

one

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intentionally,and

as a result

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, it leads to an accident.

To conclude

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, Competitive

sports

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are a great example of Socialism. It has some positive impacts on

people

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but I think there are more negative consequences than other ones exploring the reasons I have discussed in

this

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essay.

Submitted by niloyirtisam on Sun Jan 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction lacks a clear thesis statement, which should explicitly state the intention to discuss both views and your opinion. Including a clear thesis would enhance the logical structure of your essay.

coherence cohesion

You should ensure each paragraph contains one clear main idea, and that they follow logically from one to the next to create a coherent argument that flows well. This includes using a variety of linking words and phrases to show connections between ideas.

coherence cohesion

While supporting examples are present, they need to be more directly tied to the points you are making to ensure they clearly support your argument. Each example should directly relate to the point it's intended to support.

task achievement

Your essay partially responds to the task. However, you must ensure that you cover both sides of the argument comprehensively, respecting the balance that the question demands. Additionally, your own opinion should be clear throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.

task achievement

Your ideas should be developed more fully to be comprehensive and clear. This includes enhancing each point with more detailed reasoning and examples.

task achievement

Make sure that your examples are specific, clear, and relevant to the topic. Relate each example directly back to the topic to ensure relevance.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

334 words

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Many people believe that competitive sports have a positive impact on individuals and society. However, others argue that competitive sports can have negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more people are now working remotely from home. Is this a positive or negative development?

2.Many parents in Vietnam invest heavily into their child’s education hoping for the best.Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging.

More and more business meetings are taking place online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?