The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people’s #lives

Nowadays,

science

has progressed in every field. On the one hand, some individuals argue that

science

should enhance

people

’s

lives

On the other hand

, some

people

use

science

as a tool for making more money. In my opinion,

science

must not pursue any goals except improving

people

’s

lives

. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will explain my ideas in more detail.

Firstly

, one of the purposes

people

should

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

use

science

as prolonging human life. In fact, scientists can approach

this

datum

Replace the word

data

show examples

through

Change preposition

show examples

conducting research on various factors which are effective

Change preposition

show examples

health

Add an article

the health

show examples

of humans.

For example

, using sunflower oils rather than palm oils in order to prevent blockage of heart vessels and obesity, finding methods to treat cancer, and making devices for

diagnosis

Correct article usage

the diagnosis

show examples

diseases

Change preposition

of diseases

show examples

Secondly

, another aim of

science

can be fast and convenient transportation systems.

In other words

, inventing vehicles that are useful for long

distance

Fix the agreement mistake

distances

show examples

, and enable

people

having

Wrong verb form

to have

show examples

more communication. Not only should

science

decline

Verb problem

reduce

show examples

distance, but

also

should

Verb problem

apply

show examples

reduce the differences between

people

For instance

, Iranians will be able to travel to the United States of America with tools that are the fastest transport or the cars that fly in the sky, like

airplanes

Change the spelling

aeroplanes

show examples

, and fast trains to avoid traffic in busy cities. In conclusion, at the same time as

science

is growing,

people

’s

lives

are being improved.I believe that the most effective aim of

science

should be to make

people

’s

lives

better by improving medical

science

and making new

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

Submitted by arvinps on Sun Jan 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure your paragraphs have a clear and logical structure. Each main point should be supported by a clear idea and example. It would be beneficial to include topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to present the central idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on that idea with details and examples. The conclusion should succinctly reiterate your main points and stance on the issue.

task achievement

You attempted to address the prompt but did not fully develop both sides of the argument. While your essay provides a clear personal opinion, it would be strengthened by acknowledging counterarguments and supporting your view through a broader range of well-developed ideas and specific, relevant examples. Furthermore, ensure that your thesis statement in the introduction clearly reflects your approach to the topic; this statement guides the reader and sets expectations for your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

245 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
enhancing
quality of human life
advancements
medicine
healthcare
scientific research
solving societal problems
improving living standards
global issues
climate change
food scarcity
technological advancements
limitations
negative consequences
ethical considerations
sustainability
environmental preservation

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Word Count

The best way to solve the traffic congestion in city is to provide free public transport for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

While some people consider air pollution to be the most dangerous environmental problem, others believe that soil pollution has a more serious effect on our world. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe the government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.