The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays,
science
has progressed in every field. On the one hand, some individuals argue that Use synonyms
science
should enhance Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
’s Use synonyms
lives
. Use synonyms
On the other hand
, some Linking Words
people
use Use synonyms
science
as a tool for making more money. In my opinion, Use synonyms
science
must not pursue any goals except improving Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
’s Use synonyms
lives
. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will explain my ideas in more detail.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, one of the purposes Linking Words
people
should Use synonyms
be
use Unnecessary verb
apply
science
as prolonging human life. In fact, scientists can approach Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
datum
Replace the word
data
through
conducting research on various factors which are effective Change preposition
by
on
Change preposition
in
health
of humans. Add an article
the health
For example
, using sunflower oils rather than palm oils in order to prevent blockage of heart vessels and obesity, finding methods to treat cancer, and making devices for Linking Words
diagnosis
Correct article usage
the diagnosis
diseases
.
Change preposition
of diseases
Secondly
, another aim of Linking Words
science
can be fast and convenient transportation systems. Use synonyms
In other words
, inventing vehicles that are useful for long Linking Words
distance
, and enable Fix the agreement mistake
distances
people
Use synonyms
having
more communication. Not only should Wrong verb form
to have
science
Use synonyms
decline
distance, but Verb problem
reduce
also
Linking Words
should
reduce the differences between Verb problem
apply
people
. Use synonyms
For instance
, Iranians will be able to travel to the United States of America with tools that are the fastest transport or the cars that fly in the sky, like Linking Words
airplanes
, and fast trains to avoid traffic in busy cities.
In conclusion, at the same time as Change the spelling
aeroplanes
science
is growing, Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
’s Use synonyms
lives
are being improved.I believe that the most effective aim of Use synonyms
science
should be to make Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
’s Use synonyms
lives
better by improving medical Use synonyms
science
and making new Use synonyms
transportations
.Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure your paragraphs have a clear and logical structure. Each main point should be supported by a clear idea and example. It would be beneficial to include topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to present the central idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on that idea with details and examples. The conclusion should succinctly reiterate your main points and stance on the issue.
task achievement
You attempted to address the prompt but did not fully develop both sides of the argument. While your essay provides a clear personal opinion, it would be strengthened by acknowledging counterarguments and supporting your view through a broader range of well-developed ideas and specific, relevant examples. Furthermore, ensure that your thesis statement in the introduction clearly reflects your approach to the topic; this statement guides the reader and sets expectations for your essay.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.