Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Currently, technology has advanced so much to an extent that it has
lead
to effects Wrong verb form
led
to
how individuals interact with Change preposition
on
one
another. Although
internet
has increased isolation among Add an article
the internet
people
, I strongly believe that it has lead
to positive development Wrong verb form
led
due to
the fact that it strengthen
binding.
On the Change the verb form
strengthens
one
hand, one
of the negative ways in which internet
Correct article usage
the internet
affect
our relationship with other members is through isolation. Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
That is
to say, many individuals are unable to communicate with their beloved
ones face to face and Correct your spelling
loved
this
not only makes them feel lonely but also
rise
the feelings of Verb problem
raises
them
being isolated. Physical interactions Correct pronoun usage
apply
is
important because Change the verb form
are
people
are able to touch, see and feel the people
they are talking with which advanced technology can’t provide. For example
, research has proved that there are a lot of Ugandan couples feel
isolated Correct pronoun usage
who feel
as a result
of not being able to see their partners physically. However
, I still agree that it has lead
to positive development.
Wrong verb form
led
On the other hand
, despite the negative effect
, I believe that there are more positives and Fix the agreement mistake
effects
one
of them is strong bonding. In other words
, online communication has increased the bonding of people
as they can access their beloved
ones anywhere and at Correct your spelling
loved
anytime
especially those who are in different countries. Replace the word
any time
This
help
them to keep in touch with them and keep their friendship strong. Change the verb form
helps
This
can be attained through using Zoom, Facebook and WhatsApp. For instance
, a lot of members use Zoom to try and reach their distant relatives hence
strengthening the friendship bond.
In conclusion, even though computers and phones have lead
to negative side effects Wrong verb form
led
such
as isolation, to a large extent I think that it has caused more positive development
like increasing bonding in relationships.Fix the agreement mistake
developments
Submitted by jmeeme5 on
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coherence cohesion
Your response provides an adequate structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, work on creating more nuanced transitions between ideas to improve the logical flow. It's important that paragraphs naturally lead into one another and that each paragraph clearly supports the central argument of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but to achieve a higher score, provide more detailed examples and ensure each main point is elaborated on. This will strengthen the argument and make the essay more convincing. Avoid general statements by providing specific, detailed evidence for each point made.
task achievement
You have addressed the task with a clear position, but ensure that all parts of the prompt are equally addressed for a complete response. Develop your ideas fully by exploring both the positive and negative aspects, and conclude with a more refined analysis that encapsulates all aspects of the question.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but to enhance your score, aim for a more comprehensive exploration of the topic. Integrate a wider range of ideas and views for a multi-dimensional answer that fully covers the implications of technology on relationships.
task achievement
While you have included examples, they could be more specific and relevant. Use concrete evidence or data to support your points, which makes your argument more robust and persuasive. Avoid hypotheticals and strive to provide real-world examples that clearly relate to the topic.