IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Currently, technology has advanced so much to an extent that it has
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
how individuals interact with
one
Use synonyms
 another.
Although
Linking Words
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 has increased isolation among
people
Use synonyms
, I strongly believe that it has
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to positive development
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that it
strengthen
Change the verb form
strengthens
show examples
 binding. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand,
one
Use synonyms
 of the negative ways in which
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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 our relationship with other members is through isolation.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, many individuals are unable to communicate with their
beloved
Correct your spelling
loved
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 ones face to face and
this
Linking Words
 not only makes them feel lonely but
also
Linking Words
rise
Verb problem
raises
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 the feelings of
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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being isolated. Physical interactions
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 important because
people
Use synonyms
 are able to touch, see and feel the
people
Use synonyms
 they are talking with which advanced technology can’t provide.
For example
Linking Words
, research has proved that there are a lot of Ugandan couples
feel
Correct pronoun usage
who feel
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 isolated
as a result
Linking Words
 of not being able to see their partners physically.
However
Linking Words
, I still agree that it has
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to positive development.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, despite the negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
, I believe that there are more positives and
one
Use synonyms
 of them is strong bonding.
In other words
Linking Words
, online communication has increased the bonding of
people
Use synonyms
 as they can access their
beloved
Correct your spelling
loved
show examples
 ones anywhere and at
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
 especially those who are in different countries.
This
Linking Words
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them to keep in touch with them and keep their friendship strong.
This
Linking Words
 can be attained through using Zoom, Facebook and WhatsApp.
For instance
Linking Words
, a lot of members use Zoom to try and reach their distant relatives
hence
Linking Words
 strengthening the friendship bond. In conclusion, even though computers and phones have
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to negative side effects
such
Linking Words
 as isolation, to a large extent I think that it has caused more positive
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
show examples
 like increasing bonding in relationships.

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coherence cohesion
Your response provides an adequate structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, work on creating more nuanced transitions between ideas to improve the logical flow. It's important that paragraphs naturally lead into one another and that each paragraph clearly supports the central argument of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but to achieve a higher score, provide more detailed examples and ensure each main point is elaborated on. This will strengthen the argument and make the essay more convincing. Avoid general statements by providing specific, detailed evidence for each point made.
task achievement
You have addressed the task with a clear position, but ensure that all parts of the prompt are equally addressed for a complete response. Develop your ideas fully by exploring both the positive and negative aspects, and conclude with a more refined analysis that encapsulates all aspects of the question.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but to enhance your score, aim for a more comprehensive exploration of the topic. Integrate a wider range of ideas and views for a multi-dimensional answer that fully covers the implications of technology on relationships.
task achievement
While you have included examples, they could be more specific and relevant. Use concrete evidence or data to support your points, which makes your argument more robust and persuasive. Avoid hypotheticals and strive to provide real-world examples that clearly relate to the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • technology
  • interact
  • relationships
  • connectivity
  • communication
  • online
  • face-to-face
  • friendships
  • romantic relationships
  • family dynamics
  • positive
  • negative
  • development
  • effects
  • formation
  • ease
  • impacts
  • communities
  • connect
  • interaction
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