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Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
It is argued by many that confirming a bad circumstance will be the best,
for
instance
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instance,
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 unpleased occupation or shortage of income.
On the contrary
, some thought that attempt and enhance would be better in order to accept
this
 situation. In my opinion, even if it’s hard to change we should at least try to make it better. In some conditions, I believe that accepting our will is the best idea.
Last
 decades, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people
suffer
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have suffered
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 from stress and pressure
on
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in
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 their jobs. For these
reasonS
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reasons
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, it is not a bad idea not
trying
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to try
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 to change the job or
working
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work
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 overtime to increase the salary. They may end up
by
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apply
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feeling more stress on a person.
According to
the
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apply
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recent studies, employees were more mentally healthy when they were not trying to race to each other when compared
now
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to now
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 and twenty years ago.
In contrast
, most believed that bad circumstances shouldn’t be acceptable,
therefore
 we should try our best. With the improving life
conditions
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conditions,
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 every person started to demand better and better. It is understandable because taking
risk
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risks
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 could be turned out by a
better paid
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better-paid
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 job. So,
while
 we are trying to accomplish to get a better salary, we will improve the living conditions as well.
For example
, when we look at the most significant scientist, the most
noticable
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noticeable
notable
 feature of them is not giving up and not accepting their fate.
To sum up
, I strongly believe that every person
take
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takes
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 risks to extend the
standarts
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standards
standard
 in life even though it’s hard to do.
Submitted by busrasenturk1 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay requires improvements in structure and clarity. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that this idea is developed coherently throughout the paragraph. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smoother to guide the reader through your discussion effectively.
task achievement
Your attempt to answer the task is somewhat adequate. It is important that your argument directly addresses the task and that you discuss both views mentioned in the prompt comprehensively before giving your own opinion. Aim for a more balanced treatment of the views and clearly signal your opinion in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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