A lot of peoplehave become dependent on technology as it plays a big role in our daily lives.Do you agree that living in computer age has more advantages than disadvantages. Describe the positive andnegative impacts of technology on our lives and give your opinion.
Technology is what drives the world today; it
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
the
integral part of our day-to-day life as it would be hard to imagine our successful future without Change the article
an
internet
. Correct article usage
the internet
However
, there are some people believe
that it leads to our Correct pronoun usage
who believe
dependencies
solely on Fix the agreement mistake
dependency
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
technologies
such
as internet
and smart gadgets. To counter Correct article usage
the internet
this
, I believe that living in today's technological world has numerous merits than
its demerits which are articulated in Rephrase
rather than
following
paragraphs.
Conspicuously, there are numerous ways Correct article usage
the following
technologies
have impacted us positively. To begin
with, our mediums of communication have been revolutionized since the internet
. As we
can connect to anyone from any part of the world through phone calls, Correct word choice
We
video
calls. Even we can Correct word choice
and video
also
share information using emails and text messages which is more easier, faster option than sending mails
. Fix the agreement mistake
mail
In addition
, due to
Correct article usage
the internet
internet
start-ups Capitalize word
Internet
do
not Verb problem
are
require
to make Wrong verb form
required
investment
in their infrastructure by allowing their employees’ transportation Fix the agreement mistake
investments
cost
and time.
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
Nevertheless
, technologies
have impacted us in
maliciously in Change preposition
apply
same
ways. Correct article usage
the same
Firstly
, working from home or sitting in front of computer
leads to Correct article usage
a computer
sedentary
lifestyle and obesity. Correct article usage
a sedentary
This physical inactivities
can make our body Change the determiner
This physical inactivity
These physical inactivities
to
host for diseases like diabetes, cardiac attack and many more. Fix the infinitive
apply
Secondly
, people experiencing
mental fatigue by spending extensive Wrong verb form
experience
period
of time in front of screens. Fix the agreement mistake
periods
Last
but not least, people avoid outdoor exposure and locking themselves in
home.
In conclusion, undoubtedly, there has been revolutionized change we experience in Change preposition
at
personal
and professional Correct pronoun usage
our personal
life
by relying on Fix the agreement mistake
lives
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
technologies
, however
, we also
need to encourage ourselves for
active Verb problem
to have
lifestyle
to stay healthy and fit.Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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coherence cohesion
Work on logical structuring of ideas and ensure a clear progression throughout the essay. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea with supporting sentences that expand upon that idea in a cohesive manner. Avoid overly complex sentences if they disrupt the flow of your writing.
task achievement
Provide more concrete examples to support your points. The examples given are rather generic and do not fully demonstrate a depth of understanding of the topic. Real-world illustrations or statistics can help strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Strive for accuracy in grammar and vocabulary. Pay close attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, as errors in these areas can make your writing less clear and reduce its overall impact.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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