IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

immigration has become very useful these days what is your opinion about it

#immigration
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Immigration
 is defined as
as
Remove the redundancy
apply
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the process of moving to a new
country
 or region with the intention of staying or living there.
Due to
 globalisation
immigration
 has become very accessible and popular
particularly
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, particularly
show examples
 among digital nomads, students and professionals.
While
 some people believe that their population should be more
homogenius
Correct your spelling
homogenous
homogeneous
 and
immigartion
Correct your spelling
immigration
 should be banned, I, as an immigrant myself, believe that
this
 phenomenon has many long-term benefits. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss why I reckon
immigration
 to be useful. To
embark
Verb problem
begin
show examples
 with, I believe
immigration
 accelerates knowledge transfer. There are millions of students who travel the borders to
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 an education
as well as
 find a job in the same
country
,
consequently
 staying there. It might be very
adventagous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
 for both students and the
country
 they are immigrating to, since it is attracting potential professionals.
However
, it is
imporatnt
Correct your spelling
important
 to
also
 note that the countries these
stduents
Correct your spelling
students
emmigrate
Correct your spelling
emigrate
 from will likely
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
 talent exodus.
Furthermore
,
due to
 political situations, some countries are experiencing war, poverty, failed
educatin
Correct your spelling
education
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 etc.
Thus
, people might have the urge to live in a more stable place where they can be safe,
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 better pay and ultimately have a better
live
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life
show examples
.
Therefore
, I believe
immigration
 can increase
level
Add an article
the level
show examples
 of happiness and improve standards of living.
Lastly
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Last
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 but not least,
immigration
 might help people acquire
global
Correct article usage
a global
show examples
 mindset. It is
importnat
Correct your spelling
important
 to live in a multicultural society to celebrate different backgrounds and learn about each other's
coultures
Correct your spelling
cultures
. I think the more
multiculturural
Correct your spelling
multicultural
 the
country
 is, the less discriminatory and prejudiced its
societly
Correct your spelling
society
 is. To summarise,
immigration
 is widely common in today's globalised society.
While
 it might have some disadvantages, I believe the
advantantages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 might
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 them. The phenomenon
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 improve standards of living, knowledge transfer and multicultural awareness.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, and both the introduction and conclusion are present, which helps to frame your key arguments properly. However, make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that your ideas flow naturally from one to the next. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques to enhance readability.
task achievement
You addressed the topic, providing a full response to the prompt with a clear position throughout your essay. To further improve, ensure that your ideas are explained comprehensively, which means they should be fully developed with detailed support. Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points, rather than general statements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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