IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius (°C) and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius (°C) and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#information #temperatures #degrees #celsius #°c #rainfall #month #two #australian #cities #report #university #lecturer #summarise #features #comparisons
The diagrams indicate the highest and lowest temperatures in two cities in Australia,
along with
 it, the frequency of rain each
month
.
Overall
, the average temperature in
Brisbane
 is higher than in
Canberra
, with the lowest temperature displayed in July in both regions.
On the other hand
,
Brisbane
rain
Correct subject-verb agreement
rains
show examples
 more often than
Canberra
, in which February and March accounted for the largest proportion. In
Brisbane
, minimum temperatures are no lower than 20 degrees, compared to the data in
Canberra
, which could drop to 0 degrees in the coldest
month
.
Moreover
, during the summary season, the average temperature in
Brisbane
 is
also
 higher than in
Canberra
, at 30 degrees in
hottest
Add an article
the hottest
a hottest
show examples
month
 in February, compared to
Canberra
, the largest figure shown in December. The
raining
Replace the word
rainy
show examples
 season in
Brisbane
 is between December and April, and the average rainfall days are up to 14 days in February and March respectively,
while
Canberra
 is in
dry
Add an article
the dry
show examples
 season, the data are half off in
Brisbane
.
On the other hand
,
Canberra
 has the most
of raining
Wrong verb form
rain
show examples
 quantity between June and August at 10 days in each
month
.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words month, brisbane, canberra with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼

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