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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, it is now possible for people to buy a wide variety of foods transported from all over the world. To what extent do the benefits of this development outweigh the drawbacks?

These days, imported
foods
Use synonyms
 are quite popular among the population
due to
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 the advanced transportation system. In a few countries, people prefer to consume overseas cuisine from all over the globe.
This
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 trend has more advantages than disadvantages.
This
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 essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. There are some benefits of buying imported various
foods
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 around the
world
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. One of the major merits is that food demand will be reduced in the
world
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 market. To clarify, some nations do not have appropriate facilities for farming
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
such
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 as dry land and inadequate water facilities
while
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 imported
foods
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 can satisfy the food demand.
For example
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, in Vietnam is exported rice to around the
world
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 and many people prefer to buy Vietnam rice
due to
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taste
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. Another merit is that mankind
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a chance to
taste
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 all countries' cuisine
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their nation rather than travel to a particular nation to
taste
Use synonyms
 it.
This
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 can help to consume other nation's special foodstuff in their places. Despite these advantages, there is a drawback to buying imported meals. The only disadvantage is that the local
farmers
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 can be affected.
This
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 means mankind
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 addicted to
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
 and
consume
Wrong verb form
consuming
show examples
 more foreign
foods
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while
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 they consider their local
foods
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have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
 low quality
as well as
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taste
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,
consequently
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, local
farmers
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 can suffer economically and they may stop farming work,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
 have to migrate to cities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 better employment and earnings.
For instance
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, Sri Lankans like to eat foreign meals
such
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 as Pizza and burgers rather than their famous
foods
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 namely spring hoppers with fish curry,
thus
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, many Sri Lankan
farmers
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 are forced to switch their professions.
To conclude
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, buying
transforted
Correct your spelling
transported
transformed
transport
foods
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 has more advantages
although
Linking Words
 imported cuisines can satisfy the food demand around the
world
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 and folks can eat foreign
foods
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 in their nations rather than travel to other nations, the local
farmers
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 can be affected economically as they are forced to alter their professions is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 only one disadvantage. Consuming imported
foods
Use synonyms
 has more benefits than only one drawback.

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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement that guides the reader on the direction of the essay.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the prompt, including both sides of the argument when discussing advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Work on developing clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance readability and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by providing clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Provide more varied and complex sentence structures to convey ideas more precisely and enhance the flow of the essay.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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