IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many modern societies , grandchildren rarely spend any quality time with their grandchildren. What do you think are the consequences of this ?

#societies #grandchildren #quality #time #consequences
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days,a mysterious relationship between
grandparents
Use synonyms
 and
grandchildren
Use synonyms
 is emerging in the world system.
This
Linking Words
 society plays the most important role in human life. Nowadays,
due to
Linking Words
 modernisation, youngsters rarely spend valuable time with them. Modernisation makes
grandchildren
Use synonyms
 not spend good moments with their
grandparents
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a grandson who grew up in the circle of
grandparents
Use synonyms
 is always educated and has a different worldview, so the generation is brought up to be broad-minded. Forefathers occupy a bandana detail about culture, customs and tradition which is the identity of any nation. If the
grandparents
Use synonyms
 are there in contact
thus
Linking Words
 children can simply convey to them.That makes individuals refresh and relieve stress and adopt a healthy body. Living with
grandparents
Use synonyms
 helps to solve problems.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
in other words
Linking Words
, if the contact with the elder generation is less
then
Linking Words
 the offspring might find it hard to overcome the matter.
As a result
Linking Words
, the children become easily stressed and that affects their mental health.The significant result of no connection with
grandparents
Use synonyms
,
grandchildren
Use synonyms
 are unable to obtain a great amount of knowledge
thus
Linking Words
 making it hard to solve life-related issues.The child's relationship with the environment or with other people may change.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 living far away from
grandparents
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has negative consequences for
grandchildren
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, isolation of these two generations would result in not proceeding to the next generation which affects the identity of the country.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and states your position or thesis. Avoid vague statements and aim for a persuasive opening.
Paragraph Structure
Develop well-structured body paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Each paragraph should bring forward a separate idea and be well supported with evidence or examples.
Conclusion
The conclusion should summarize the main points of your essay and restate your position clearly. It should not introduce new information.
Transitions and Linking Words
Work on clear and logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay.
Sentence Variety
Use a variety of sentence structures including complex sentences to demonstrate language proficiency.
Task Achievement
Make sure to fully address the question prompt and discuss consequences comprehensively. The response seems incomplete and requires deeper analysis.
Supporting Details
Provide specific examples and details to support the points in your essay. General statements are insufficient to achieve a high score.
Lexical Resource
Revise usage of terms and phrases for accuracy. For instance, 'bandana detail' may be a misuse of words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Check work for grammatical accuracy and range. There are numerous errors that need correction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: