IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.

The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.
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The following charts show information about
Japanese
Use synonyms
 tourism from 1985 until 1995
then
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 shows the proportion of
Japanese
Use synonyms
 in Australia.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the
Japanese
Use synonyms
 population have a big impact on tourism but
this
Linking Words
 impact has increased during those years and it has slowed thanks to the number of
Japanese
Use synonyms
 tourists and the Australian tourist market. Focusing on the first document, the number of people travelling from Japan has increased since 1985. In these years the number was around 4,5 million persons and has
increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 to almost 16 million in 1995.
Then
Linking Words
, in Australia, the
Japanese
Use synonyms
 tourist market
also
Linking Words
 increased during these dates. Starting with 2 per cent in 1995 and
this
Linking Words
 proportion grew to 6% in 1999.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words japanese with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tourist market
  • overseas travel
  • tourism industry
  • international campaigns
  • economic prosperity
  • travel preferences
  • market share
  • fluctuations
  • peak
  • trend
  • attracting
  • destination
  • variability
  • contributing factors
  • currency exchange rates
  • speculate
  • tourism policies
  • competitive markets
  • popularity
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