8/1 Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, more
people
Use synonyms
regard
Verb problem
think
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humans should protect
environment
Add an article
the environment
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by reducing daily waste.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some believe that
manufacturing
Correct article usage
the manufacturing
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industry and supermarkets are responsible
to decrease
Change preposition
for decreasing
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the wrapping of
products
Use synonyms
,
others
Correct word choice
while others
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think
consumers
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could prevent waste by
avoid
Change the form of the verb
avoiding
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buying overwrapping
products
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. The following content will outline both stances and explain my opinion.
Firstly
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, competition
of
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in
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attracting customers might be the major factor of overwrapping. Nowadays, because of convenient transport,
people
Use synonyms
could
Wrong verb form
can
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find many similar types of
products
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in the shops, it would be a competitive situation for the producers to sell their items.
As a result
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, an attractive appearance to catch
consumers
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' eyes would be a vital way of selling.
For example
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, some children prefer to choose snacks which have animation or cartoon figures on the wrapping.
Secondly
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,
consumers
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' options would
also
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lead to overwrapping,
for instance
Linking Words
, during the New Year,
people
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would prefer to buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
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products
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which have the New Year decorations rather than
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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choose
the
Correct article usage
apply
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one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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with simple wrap papers.
In other words
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, if
consumers
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stop judging the criteria of purchasing by its packaging, the manufacturers and supermarkets would
also
Linking Words
stop these actions.
For example
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, shopping centres and supermarkets could provide some incentives to encourage
consumers
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choosing
Change the verb form
to choose
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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simple package
products
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,
such
Linking Words
as
offer
Wrong verb form
offering
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a discount,
Correct word choice
and put
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put
Wrong verb form
putting
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these
products
Use synonyms
on sale, in order to enhance
people
Use synonyms
's willingness to buy them. In conclusion, the competition between producers and the preference of customers
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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to the overwrapping situation.
As a result
Linking Words
, I believe both of them are responsible
to reduce
Change preposition
for reducing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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every day
Replace the word
everyday
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waste.
Submitted by chaoweikevin on

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Coherence Cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay clearly. Your introduction should clearly outline the discussion points, and each paragraph should deal with a single idea, supported by relevant examples. Your conclusion should succinctly summarize the discussion.
Task Achievement
To achieve a better score in task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the task. Make sure that your discussion of both views is balanced and your own opinion is clearly stated. Provide specific examples to support your points where necessary.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Eco-friendly
  • Carbon footprint
  • Excessive packaging
  • Biodegradable materials
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Consumer advocacy
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Waste reduction
  • Recycling initiatives
  • Green practices
  • Minimalist lifestyle
  • Resource conservation
  • Sustainable consumption
  • Packaging alternatives
  • Regulatory measures
  • Ethical choices
  • Environmental impact assessment
  • Renewable resources
  • Compostable packaging
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