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Band 5.5

In today's world many people own a smartphone. do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages

#world #people #smartphone
Nowadays, many
people
 in the world own a
smartphone
.
This
 writer believes that the advantages of having a
smartphone
such
 as making it easier to communicate and having the
GPS
 outperform the disadvantages like getting distracted. The main benefit of owning a
smartphone
 is it makes the communication of
people
 easier. Because of the lower price, mobile is affordable and has been a revolution in the telecom industry where approximately 90% of
people
 use mobile phones for communication. Just by pressing some buttons, the phone can connect to the person to make a speech.
People
 around the world nowadays mainly use smartphones to contact their family
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and friends and
also
 for work. Another benefit of having a
smartphone
 is that it contains
GPS
. Before the invention of the
smartphone
,
people
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 to use a separate
GPS
 device to find the location but it is not always correct. Located in smartphones, the
GPS
 app is more accurate and convenient to bring
along with
 you. Taxi drivers are using smartphones to help them take their passengers to the location easier and faster.
However
, sometimes mobile is a disturbing device that creates distractions between our works. It is seen that students are easily distracted from their studies because of mobiles, as it contains applications that attract users to enjoy their software. One makes them addicted and distracted from their goals. In conclusion, owning a
smartphone
 both has advantages and disadvantages but the benefits of getting in contact easily and having
GPS
 outweigh the distraction it brings.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position on the advantages outweighing the disadvantages, while the conclusion should summarize the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Make use of a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs for better coherence.
supported main points
Expand and fully develop your main points with specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen the argument.
complete response
The essay prompt requires an analysis of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, so ensure to directly address this comparison throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.
clear comprehensive ideas
To improve clarity, present each idea in a separate paragraph with clear topic sentences and further explanation.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific and varied examples that can directly support your arguments regarding the advantages and disadvantages of smartphone ownership.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant access
  • real-time updates
  • portable offices
  • emergency services
  • social media
  • navigation
  • cybersecurity
  • screen time
  • digital detox
  • environmental footprint
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