In today's world many people own a smartphone.Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?
In the modern age.many
people
own a smartphone
.This
writer will discuss about
the advantages of Remove the preposition
apply
own
a Wrong verb form
owning
smartphone
and disadvantages
if Correct article usage
the disadvantages
people
do not have their own one
.
On the one Correct pronoun usage
apply
hands
,Fix the agreement mistake
hand
smartphone
is the one of the most Add an article
the smartphone
a smartphone
achievement
Replace the word
achieved
Change preposition
of human's
human's
,it Change noun form
humans
help
Change the verb form
helps
people
solve problems in their life,also
Correct word choice
and also
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
bring
enjoyment to the owner,without Change the verb form
brings
its
we do not know the trend of the world and Correct pronoun usage
it
its
have a big effect Change the pronoun
it
to
human entertain.Change preposition
on
For example
,smartphone
upload the Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
new
of the world Fix the agreement mistake
news
everyday
to everyone Replace the word
every day
in
Change preposition
on
this
planet,also
we can learn
something new on the Internet.
Rephrase
also learn
However
,it very
difficult if Add a missing verb
is very
people
do not have their own,people
can not know the sate
of the world and many Correct your spelling
state
people
who live far away from their house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
they
will have a Correct pronoun usage
apply
smartphone
to call their members.For example
,the oldest radar was invented in 1890 but in 2007 the most mordern
phone Correct your spelling
modern
war
invented it Correct your spelling
was
have
many Change the verb form
has
function
Change to a plural noun
functions
to
Change preposition
in
people
life.
In conclusion,in the modern Change noun form
people's
age
Add a comma
age,
people
need to have their own phone to use becasue
there are many things a Correct your spelling
because
smartphone
can help you everything if you need them.But it can very
harmful if you do not use it in the Add a missing verb
be very
correctly
way.Change the word
correct
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clarity and precision in expressing ideas. There are frequent grammatical errors and the sentence structures are confusing, which disrupts the logical flow. Introduce your topic with a clear thesis statement, organize your paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea with supporting details.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure you fully answer the question by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced manner. Use more specific examples to illustrate your points, and make sure your conclusion summarizes your argument effectively. Avoid straying from the topic and address the prompt directly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.