In today's world, many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantagesof owning a smartphone out weight the disadvantages
Nowadays, it turns to be easy to see random
people
have smartphones due to
the affordable price and popularity it has, when each people
have their own smartphone
, it brings both advantages and disadvantages to human life
and society. This
essay will compare the negative and positive of smartphones.
The use smartphone
of people
makes their lives easier. The smartphone
is an object that can connect to the internet,
so that it can help Remove the comma
apply
people
search for information. For example
, when one
student has a problem with his homework like it is too hard to solve, he can use his mobile phone
and navigate to some study website and get information such
as how to solve this
exercise,
and get knowledge about Remove the comma
apply
this
problem. Therefore
, mobile phones
become an assistant to support the self-study of students. Moreover
, mobile phones
can connect people
to the world, and have many social media like Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter,... these apps always update the data and can replace news due to
the high speed they bring.
Too many smartphones also
have a harmful effect on life
, when one
is addicted to a smartphone
, he or she will depend on their virtual life
and not care about real life
. For example
, one
boy at teenagers time always updates his status on Facebook, he uses his phone
10-11 hours a day, at breakfast, lunch, noon, and dinner, he still checks in and posts his status on his account, and he does not have the connection to his family, neighbours friends ,... This
circumstance made him to be an isolated person.Furthermore
, people
's health becomes weaker when we stay in 1 position all day, we will get obese, some problems related to bones, using the phone
also
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
people
stay up late, become a
night Correct article usage
apply
owl
, it can make them get cardiovascular diseases and high blood pressure.
In conclusion, when human society develops, we must adapt to the world changes. Mostly in the hi-tech era, mobile Fix the agreement mistake
owls
phones
are crucial, so every person should have their own mobile phone
, one
thing noted is that everybody must realise the world they live in and manipulate the time they use mobile phones
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coherence cohesion
Your essay tends to have an unclear structure, with some ideas not fully developed or transitioned into smoothly. Work on clarifying and expanding on your main points, creating stronger transitions between them.
task achievement
While you addressed both advantages and disadvantages, the exposition of your ideas could be more balanced and substantiated with more relevant examples. Aim for a clearer progression of ideas to strengthen the argument's effectiveness.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?