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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the population figures of different types of wild birds in the one country between 1970 and 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below shows the population figures of different types of wild birds in the one country between 1970 and 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#population #figures #birds #country #information #features #comparisons
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The chart provides information about the numbers of three various
species
 of wild
birds
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom from 1970 to 2004.
Overall
, the
shown
Verb problem
apply
show examples
graph shows that coastal
species
 led the
index
 of
species
 numbers. The
population
 of coastal
species
 followed by all the
birds
Change the noun form
bird
show examples
species
 that unsteadily increased every year.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, woodland and farmland
birds
 kept drowning in low
index
. In 1970, the
population
 of coastal
species
 started
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the border of
index
Add an article
the index
an index
show examples
, 100. The
index
 measures 130
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means it experienced massive growth until it touched its highest level of
population
.
Therefore
, all
species
 of bird
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
show examples
 really show significant growth. All
species
 only experienced unsteady
move
Replace the word
movement
show examples
 and peaked
Change preposition
at its
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 largest amount of
population
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 around 110 in 1978. Woodland
species
 experienced its largest
population
 on
index
Add an article
the index
show examples
, measured
approximately
Change preposition
at approximately
show examples
 110 in 1976.
Unfortunately
Add a comma
Unfortunately,
show examples
 woodland
species
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 decreased until its lowest
index
 at around 90. Farmland
species
 placed as the lowest
population
 of
birds
 from the shown period, specifically in 2004 in
oly
Correct your spelling
only
 reached around 55.
Submitted by ieltswriting91 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words species, birds, index, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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