taking risk advantages and disadvantages efect on professioal life
In recent years, there has been a tremendous increase in the number of
individuals
questioning whether people
should take the chance for a change in their career and personal life
. On the one hand, one key benefit is discovering the true potential of one’s abilities. However
, a significant drawback is people
risking their life
’s stability.
To begin
, there is an argument to be made that people
can understand themselves better and understand their invisible potential. For example
, one-third of the engineering students at University
of Toronto during their sophomore year have decided to change their speciality to study art Correct article usage
the University
instead
, which they have reported after a high satisfaction rate and an excellent acadmic perfomance
. Correct your spelling
academic performance
For
this
reason, it is evident that taking risks is a cornerstone into
unveiling the hidden capabilities, without which Change preposition
in
individuals
will never realize their actual skills. What is more, by
doing Change preposition
apply
this
, it
will encourage Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
to improve themselves further
, simply because they want to establish a radical change solely based on the belief that they can do it. This
being the case, it can be assumed that if a person did not take a risk in his life
, he would never understands
his true Change the verb form
understand
potentials
.
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
Nonetheless
, it must be stated that taking risks could put someone’s life
at stake and lead to chaos. For instance
, some people
have families which need stable money income to survive, without which could jeopardise the life
of entire
family because of Correct article usage
the entire
such
an action. Therefore
, it is clear that
individuals
can lose their balanced life
and destroy their family’s future, clearly because they want to be adventurous and chase what could not be real. Furthermore
, humans do not all share the same capabilities, some might have potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
while
others not
, which inevitably means what works for someone, might not work for the other. With Add a missing verb
do not
this
in mind, there is no doubt that if people
started risking their life
and acting the same way, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
this
would have created chaotic
environment that endanger the stability of Correct article usage
a chaotic
life
.
To conclude
, while
some may feel that individuals
should risk their professional life
to discover about themselves. Others, myself included, hold the view that they should not chase such
chaotic
pathway which might lead to extended damaging consequences.
From my perspective, the pros do not outweigh the cons and Correct article usage
a chaotic
people
should be aware that it is very critical to clearly understand the limits of their power and what is realistically achievable.Submitted by ototonji.ot on
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introduction & conclusion
Despite the presence of an introduction and a conclusion, the essay lacks a strong and clear thesis statement that guides the reader through the argument. It would be beneficial to explicitly state the essay's stance in the introduction and reinforce it in the conclusion.
cohesion
The essay demonstrates a fair use of cohesive devices but at times feels mechanically with transitions that may not seem wholly natural. Enhancing the use of a wider range of cohesive devices would lead to a more fluent and organic flow of ideas.
logical structure
While there is a logical structure present, the progression of ideas could be more sophisticated. Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and that all subsequent sentences clearly support the topic of the paragraph.
complete response
The essay provides an answer to the question but the response could be more thorough. Make sure to explore both sides of the argument in-depth, providing a balanced discussion that consistently relates back to the essay's main argument.
clear & comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are relevant, however, they could be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Aim to fully develop your arguments by providing more detailed explanations and expanding upon your ideas.
specific examples
Use of specific examples is good but could be improved to support your main points more directly. Choose examples that are directly relevant to the argument you are making and expand on how they support or refute the point being discussed.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example