It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It is common for society to deal with new challenges in their activity and sometimes take high risks not only for their careers but
also
for their personal lives
. Some residents believe that taking
Correct your spelling
making
high-risk
decisions
can bring a lot of drawbacks that outweigh the benefits, while
others argue that we need to take risks of any challenges in our lives
. I believe that people
taking
Correct your spelling
making
high-risk
decisions
bring more benefits than drawbacks.
On the one hand, problems in our lives
sometimes don’t need a high-risk
action. The high-risk
solution may bring other consequences to our lives
and affect our professional lives
and our personal lives
if we can’t deal with them. For instance
, people
sometimes prefer to resign from their current jobs to be an
Correct article usage
apply
entrepreneur
without calculating the advantages and disadvantages of these and lack of business knowledge, leading them to lose their jobs and become jobless when they can’t handle it. Fix the agreement mistake
entrepreneurs
Moreover
, taking high-risk
decisions
is a double-edged sword, and the percentage of probability success and failure is 50 percent
.
Change the spelling
per cent
On the other hand
, in recent decades, successful people
have had tough decisions
when they were young. Although
we have to leave our comfort zone, making high-risk
decisions
can bring us to brighter
life. Add an article
a brighter
For instance
, Bill Gates, who failed in his school, preferred creating a computer language program in 1970 than continuing their study, becoming the top 10 wealthiest people
in the world as Microsoft’s CEO (Chief Executive Officer) in recent days. In addition
, people
making high-risk
decisions
always get new experiences and broader knowledge, leading them to be creative and wise when problems arise. Consequently
, they can more easily solve problems because of their expertise bringing them success in their career and their personal lives
.
To sum up
, some people
believe that they have to avoid high-risk
decisions
to ensure their career lives
and personal life safety, while
others believe that taking
Correct your spelling
making
high-risk
decisions
is the best way to improve their lives
in future. I believe that making high-risk
decisions
brings more advantages than disadvantages not only in professional lives
but also
in personal lives
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity in presenting your arguments. At times, your essay could benefit from clearer transitions and more explicit connections between ideas. Consider using phrases that clearly signal your opinion and the progression of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve flow. While your essay demonstrates coherence, varying your connectors ('Furthermore', 'On the other hand', 'For example') can enrich textual cohesion.
task achievement
Strive for precision in language use and check for grammatical consistency. Minor errors in grammar and expression can impact the overall clarity of your message.
task achievement
Enhance your essay by providing more specific, real-world examples to support your arguments. While Bill Gates' example is strong, adding more varied instances can bolster your claims and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
For optimal task achievement, ensure that your opinion is clear throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion. It's important to guide the reader from your introduction through to your conclusion, making your stance known early on.