Nowaday,more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a postive or negative development ?

Recently,
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
increased number of people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
have been
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
to communicate online rather than meet in person. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
is
cause
Verb problem
apply
show examples
negative for sociality,
therefore
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
to crime and physical health. Nowadays, the
internet
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been growing
signifiantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
and provides anything. For
thoses
Correct your spelling
those
who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
the
internet
for interacted
Change preposition
to interact
show examples
with new
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
and make fellowship, it
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
to crime.
While
Correct word choice
When
show examples
they are which has been
meet
Change the verb form
meeting
met
show examples
Add an article
a stranger
show examples
stranger
Fix the agreement mistake
strangers
show examples
and
share
Wrong verb form
shared
show examples
private information, without
known
Change the form of the verb
knowing
show examples
each
ather
Correct your spelling
other
, it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
direct them
to trap
Change the verb form
trapped
show examples
in cybercrime.
For example
, India, there are one of high cybercrime countries in the world that
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
to
make
Verb problem
commit
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
by
gave
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
lying information to get money.
Thus
we have to
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
aware
to
Change preposition
of using
show examples
use
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when has been interacting with
stranger
Fix the agreement mistake
strangers
show examples
.
On the other hand
, people who
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spend more time on the
internet
, it cause to their health.
Subsequently
Add a comma
Subsequently,
show examples
they will
Add a missing verb
be unconcious
show examples
unconcious
Correct your spelling
unconscious
to access the
internet
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
regardless
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
their
physicalty
Correct your spelling
physical
.
For instance
, They will stay up late just for online and
unreleazed
Correct your spelling
released
unreleased
about the time and
as a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
they will get diseases
such
as
anemia
Change the spelling
anaemia
show examples
.
Therefore
they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
should control themselves, and not become addicted
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
internet
. In conclusion, the number of people that
use
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been increased now. I
personaly
Correct your spelling
personally
believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
attend
Change the verb form
attends
show examples
a negative thing. It is
cause
Correct article usage
a cause
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
danger and has been
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
. We
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
must be wise to
use
it properly, as long as it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
benefits to our lives, and not harm to ourselves.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Introduction & Conclusion
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Supporting Main Points
Main ideas should be developed with specific examples or evidence, rather than stating ideas that may seem like generalizations without support.
Logical Structure
Ideas need to be more logically structured and information should flow naturally from one sentence to the next. Including topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can enhance coherence.
Complete Response
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Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Ideas should be communicated clearly and explained comprehensively. The use of complex sentences is encouraged, but clarity should not be sacrificed.
Relevant Specific Examples
Provide clear, relevant, and specific examples to support your arguments. Make sure examples are directly connected to the points being made.

Your opinion

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