Nowaday,more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a postive or negative development ?

#nowaday #people #socialise #face #postive #development

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Recently,

the

Correct article usage

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increased number of people

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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have been

choosen

Correct your spelling

chosen

to communicate online rather than meet in person. I believe

Remove the comma

apply

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this

Linking Words

cause

Verb problem

apply

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negative for sociality,

therefore

Linking Words

lead

Wrong verb form

leading

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to crime and physical health. Nowadays, the

internet

Use synonyms

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

been growing

signifiantly

Correct your spelling

significantly

and provides anything. For

thoses

Correct your spelling

those

who

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

Use synonyms

use

Wrong verb form

used

show examples

the

internet

Use synonyms

for interacted

Change preposition

to interact

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with new

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

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and make fellowship, it

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

to crime.

Linking Words

While

Correct word choice

When

show examples

they are which has been

meet

Change the verb form

meeting

met

show examples

Add an article

a stranger

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stranger

Fix the agreement mistake

strangers

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and

Wrong verb form

shared

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private information, without

known

Change the form of the verb

knowing

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each

ather

Correct your spelling

other

, it

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

direct them

to trap

Change the verb form

trapped

show examples

in cybercrime.

For example

Linking Words

, India, there are one of high cybercrime countries in the world that

Use synonyms

use

Correct subject-verb agreement

uses

show examples

Use synonyms

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

make

Verb problem

commit

show examples

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

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gave

Wrong verb form

giving

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lying information to get money.

Thus

Linking Words

we have to

Add a missing verb

be more

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aware

Change preposition

of using

show examples

use

Use synonyms

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when has been interacting with

stranger

Fix the agreement mistake

strangers

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, people who

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

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spend more time on the

internet

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, it cause to their health.

Linking Words

Subsequently

Add a comma

Subsequently,

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they will

Add a missing verb

be unconcious

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unconcious

Correct your spelling

unconscious

to access the

internet

Use synonyms

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

regardless

about

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show examples

their

physicalty

Correct your spelling

physical

For instance

Linking Words

, They will stay up late just for online and

unreleazed

Correct your spelling

released

unreleased

about the time and

as a

Linking Words

result

Add a comma

result,

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they will get diseases

such

Linking Words

anemia

Change the spelling

anaemia

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

should control themselves, and not become addicted

Change preposition

show examples

the

internet

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, the number of people that

use

Use synonyms

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

been increased now. I

personaly

Correct your spelling

personally

believe

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

attend

Change the verb form

attends

show examples

a negative thing. It is

cause

Correct article usage

a cause

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Change preposition

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danger and has been

Correct article usage

a healthy

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healthy

Replace the word

health

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problems

Fix the agreement mistake

problem

show examples

. We

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

must be wise to

use

Use synonyms

it properly, as long as it

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

benefits to our lives, and not harm to ourselves.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Mon Jan 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion

The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, showing the candidate's position on the topic. Both sections should be distinct and provide a clear framework for the essay.

Supporting Main Points

Main ideas should be developed with specific examples or evidence, rather than stating ideas that may seem like generalizations without support.

Logical Structure

Ideas need to be more logically structured and information should flow naturally from one sentence to the next. Including topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can enhance coherence.

Complete Response

Ensure that all parts of the essay task are addressed and that the response forms a complete argument. The essay should fully answer all parts of the question.

Clear Comprehensive Ideas

Ideas should be communicated clearly and explained comprehensively. The use of complex sentences is encouraged, but clarity should not be sacrificed.

Relevant Specific Examples

Provide clear, relevant, and specific examples to support your arguments. Make sure examples are directly connected to the points being made.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
57
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Nowaday,more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a postive or negative development ?

Your opinion

You have decided to leave your current job and look for a new one. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter explain why you want to leave your current job describe what kind of job you are looking for ask for some help or advice

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the government should provide free education in all levels. Others argue that university students should pay for their education. Discuss both views.

Nowdays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?

Information technology enable many people to do their chores outside their workplace (e.g at home or while travelling) do the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?