Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In today's society, technology plays a major part in every generation's life. It is said that
children
are most likely to play on their phones for most of the day. In my opinion, the idea mentioned is mainly caused by the benefit of technology that could easily provide any source of people's needs. However
, this
phenomenon could lead to some negative outcomes.
Firstly
, the main problem with the massive time usage of phones by children
is that they are looking for the easiest way to fulfil their enjoyment. By operating the smartphones, they could easily access many sources of entertainment from the internet. Secondly
, this
case is also
supported by the act of the parents who depended on their children
with smart devices in order to accompany them. For instance
, when their kids are starting to cry for no reason, many of the parents are directly started to give them a phone, so that it can reassure their children
. That approach is continuously creating a usual habit towards the children
into their later years.
On the other hand
, despite bringing various convenient impacts, I believe that based on the case above, this
phenomenon contains negative possibilities that could happen. Many children
could be easily addicted to the point it can harm their mental health. For example
, a mental problem named nomophobia was caused by this
exact issue, which numerous people are very anxious and sweaty when they are not on their phones. It is not necessary for children
to sacrifice their early ages for advanced tools, instead
, they should be looking for fun in their real-life surroundings.
In conclusion, parents must step out of this
problem and take their role by being present to their kids and introducing various real-life activities to entertain them.Submitted by talithanakhwah19 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a logical structure but would benefit from clearer paragraphing and more varied connectors to enhance the cohesion. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that your linking words accurately reflect the relationship between ideas.
task achievement
You have addressed the task; however, consider expanding your main ideas with more detailed examples and explanations to fully satisfy the requirements. Additionally, be sure to directly address all parts of the prompt to ensure a complete response with clear and comprehensive ideas.