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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the development of cutting tools in the Stone Age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the development of cutting tools in the Stone Age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given illustration shows information about two types of tools in the stone era which had
function
Correct article usage
the function
show examples
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
cutter
Fix the agreement mistake
cutters
show examples
. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen, there were two kinds of cutting
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
 which were
tool
Use synonyms
 A and
tool
Use synonyms
 B which came from different massa and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had different shapes.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tool
Use synonyms
 A,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was a cutter made from rock and it had existed since 1.4 million years ago. The pictures of
tool
Use synonyms
 A showed some
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
, as
back
Correct article usage
the back
show examples
 and front
Use synonyms
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
 showed that the cutting tools' size was quite big and approximately the same shapes.
However
Linking Words
, from the side
view
Use synonyms
, it was shown that the shape is thin and the top of it looked sight.
Then
Linking Words
, the next was
tool
Use synonyms
 B,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was made from stone and it came
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
0.8 years ago.
This
Linking Words
 kind of cutting
tool
Use synonyms
's shape that could be seen from
front
Add an article
the front
show examples
 and
back
Add an article
the back
show examples
view
Use synonyms
 was bigger than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tool
Use synonyms
 A
while
Linking Words
 the side
view
Use synonyms
 showed it was
thiner
Change the word
thinner
show examples
 and its top sighter than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tool
Use synonyms
 A.
Moreover
Linking Words
, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
tool
Fix the agreement mistake
tools
show examples
 A and B's
top
Fix the agreement mistake
tops
show examples
 were 5cm.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words tool, view with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Stone Age
  • tools
  • cutting
  • development
  • rudimentary
  • sophisticated
  • progression
  • unworked pebbles
  • flake tools
  • bifacial tools
  • efficiency
  • materials
  • emergence
  • characteristics
  • functionality
  • craftsmanship
  • precision
  • hunting
  • carving
  • advancements
  • significance
  • human development
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