In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, smartphones have become essential devices, as more and more
people
are relying on them.
This
writer believes that the merit of immediate contacting and automatic actions outweigh the disadvantages of facing the risks of cyber fraud. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern
social
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society
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,
smartphone
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smartphones
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bring some
befits
Correct your spelling
benefits
show examples
.
people
can keep in touch with
relationship
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relationships
show examples
while
they
lie
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live
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different
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in different
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country
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countries
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.sp that
smartphone
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smartphones
show examples
help
we
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us
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have a good relationship with a partner.
Beside
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Besides
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that, for
exmple
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example
in
covid-19
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COVID-19
show examples
, all
people
must stay at home, they
are
Verb problem
have
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not gone to work or gone to school. They must do
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
and study online, at
this
time
appeard
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appeared
appears
some
metting
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meeting
on
smartphoe
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smartphone
.
Smartphone
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Smartphones
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not only call,
chatting
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chat
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,
watching
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and watch
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movie
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movies
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but
als
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also
person use truely it will support us in various
occurrence
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occurrences
show examples
. By
contrst
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contrast
, as you know
smartphone
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smartphones
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also
have disadvantages. Now,
at
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in
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some
family
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families
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so much
modern
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more modern
show examples
or trendy, from
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a grandparent
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grandparent
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grandparents
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,
parent
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parents
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to
childrent
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children
all
of
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apply
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on digital. From that it
appear
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appears
show examples
people
focus on phoe, they do not spend time
on
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with
show examples
family to take care
and
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of and
show examples
confide
so that
Correct word choice
apply
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it
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which
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will decrease
a
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apply
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good
relationship
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relationships
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in house.
Moreover
, in
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
it can be seen that
chidrent
Correct your spelling
children
are using
phone
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phones
show examples
early. Result, kid is contacted
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with difference
show examples
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of
new
Correct your spelling
news
show examples
on
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in
show examples
the world, sometime it
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
good but
child
Wrong verb form
the children
show examples
can not
differentiation
Replace the word
differentiate
show examples
real or fake information. Fake
new
Correct your spelling
news
show examples
can change
thinking
Add an article
the thinking
show examples
of
chidrent
Correct your spelling
children
and become
social
Add an article
a social
show examples
problem.
This
reason
is maybe trust
Change the verb form
is maybe trusted
show examples
for
people
acknowledgment
Change the spelling
acknowledgement
show examples
important in enough using
sartphone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
.
To sum up
,
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
would bring some benefits if
people
use
seriously
Correct pronoun usage
them seriously
show examples
. It depends on our using method
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
what result we will get from a mobile phone. That’s why we need to become aware and wise.
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Task Achievement
Regarding task response, ensure that you have fully developed your argument and explored the advantages and disadvantages of the topic in depth. Offer clear, distinct examples for each point made, and ensure your conclusion reflects upon these points to summarize the essay effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Strive to improve textual cohesion and coherence by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each discussing a central idea. Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas logically throughout the essay. Additionally, ensure that an introduction and conclusion are present and they serve their purpose effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant access
  • real-time updates
  • portable offices
  • emergency services
  • social media
  • navigation
  • cybersecurity
  • screen time
  • digital detox
  • environmental footprint
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