The government pay tution fees for the university students. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Education
is one of the aspects of ministry which are focusing
on. They remunerate tuition fees for Wrong verb form
focused
university
students
as well. However
, as we know it gives more benefits for their administratives such
as increasing their standard quality of community
and helping society who can't afford their learning. Meanwhile, the drawback is there is another aspect that is
more important than education
.
Let's begin by looking at the advantages of paying tuition fees for communities, education
is one of the aspects of standard quality evaluation, it will increase if they
are many Correct pronoun usage
there
students
who are educated until university
. Why it can have a big impact? If the ministry would pay for the educational institution admission, it means more population would be educated afterwards. Then
all the people
who graduate will work for companies or make
some business which opens some new Verb problem
do
jobs
. Following that, it will raise the standard quality of society and it will lead to less crime and slums in some places because many people
will have jobs
. Therefore
, It would have some good domino effects for
Change preposition
on
countries
, governments and community
.
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
Secondly
, it will give benefits to students
who are not able to afford their education
, especially community
who live in developing Correct article usage
the community
countries
. As we know, they will follow their parent's jobs
. For instance
, if their parents are beggars or thieves then
they might be doing so. They will stay in their bad neighbourhood. If the government
did that, they might go out of their environment and they would have more value in getting a better
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better job
better jobs
jobs
and it might make their family get out of poverty.
However
, it will also
give some drawbacks, especially for the government
in developing countries
. Because there are many aspects that are more important than pay for university
students
such
as public health and food. There are many places which are
still lack Verb problem
that
of
health Change preposition
apply
fund
for Fix the agreement mistake
funds
paying
medicines and Verb problem
apply
hospital
. If governments would invest more in public health, it Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
will
raise Wrong verb form
would
chance
of life for communities. Add an article
the chance
Furthermore
, some community
will not agree because They might think paying for Fix the agreement mistake
communities
education
until senior high school is enough for people
. Therefore
, they will tend to request government
spend their budget on something else.
In conclusion, tuition fees for university
students
are paid by Correct article usage
the administrative
administrative
are gives some advantages to the Replace the word
administration
government
, people
and countries
rather than the negative side of them.Submitted by lindamahadita on
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coherence cohesion
The essay structure needs to be improved with clearer and more distinct paragraphs each with a topic sentence. Introduction and conclusion are present but they could be stronger in presenting the essay's thesis and summarizing the arguments, respectively. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for better coherence.
task achievement
The response to the task, while covering both sides of the argument, can be enhanced by offering more specific examples and detailed explanations. Ensure all parts of the task are adequately covered, and remember to explicitly state whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages to fully answer the question.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example