In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantagees of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

In today’s digital world, more and more
people
use
smartphones
on a daily
basics
Correct your spelling
basis
show examples
.
Although
there are some concerns about smartphone addiction, I believe the benefits that
smartphones
brigh
Correct your spelling
bring
such
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conveniece
Correct your spelling
convenience
and connection far outweigh the concerns. The majority of
people
use
smartphones
because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overall
convenience.
Firstly
,
people
nowsaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
needn’t go outside when they want to buy groceries or any specific products. All they have to do is search for the shop’s website on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
smartphones
, browse the virtual marketplace, pick the item and purchase it.
Secondly
,
smartphones
have combined different function that helps their users to watch films, listen to music, search for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information,
set
Correct word choice
and set
show examples
an alarm clock just on one device.
In other words
, just one smartphone is enough to replace the TV, the MP3 or radio and the traditional
alarmclock
Correct your spelling
alarm clock
. The users can save a considerable amount of money and
eliminates
Correct subject-verb agreement
eliminate
show examples
the hassle of buying too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
devices but not using them at all. Another point worth considering is that having
smartphones
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
people
to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other citizens from all
aroung
Correct your spelling
around
the world. In the past, our ancestors were able to chat through phones but now, we can see other
people
from the phone line, making it easier for
people
to describe to their beloved
obess
Correct your spelling
obsess
about their surrounding or just simply
checking
Wrong verb form
check
show examples
if the other has lost or gained any weight. Governments can
also
use
smartphones
as a way to advertise their cultures and picturesque
Fix the agreement mistake
sightseeing
show examples
sightseeings
Fix the agreement mistake
sightseeing
show examples
.
This
may
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to better understanding between nations and focus on goals that all countries have in common. Some
people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that we are too
dependable
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smartphones
that we might
Add a missing verb
be addict
show examples
addict
Replace the word
addicted
show examples
to them.
This
belief is based on the fact that some teenagers are always using their phones, even
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mealtime.
This
point has
sredibility
Correct your spelling
credibility
, but parents can help set up a time for children so that they are not allowed to play when they are studying or having a meal.
Smartphones
are
easily
Replace the adverb
easy
show examples
to become addicted if we do not control ourselves properly, but with effort, we can benefit from the convenience and the connection of the
smartphones
.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on it, and make sure to include a conclusion that summarizes the points made and restates your position to improve the introduction and conclusion's presence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by organizing ideas more effectively. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and make sure each idea logically follows from the previous one.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop your main points further by providing more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments and fully support your statements.
Task Achievement
Ensure your response fully answers the question, covering all aspects of the task with a clear position throughout; your essay did well in providing a complete response.
Task Achievement
Clarify and expand upon your ideas to make them more comprehensive and easier to understand. Aim to explain concepts thoroughly and connect them directly to the essay question.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more relevant, specific examples into your essay to support your ideas and demonstrate the real-world application of your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: