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Band 3

graph about exports from the UK to other countries abroad

#exports #uk #countries
The graph illustrates the percentage of Australian
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 to 4 different countries between 1990-2012.
Overall
, exports to India overtook Japan in the middle of 2007 to be the highest after 2007.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 a considerable reduction was noticed for both Japan and US,
however
, they remained the two
second highest
Add a hyphen
second-highest
show examples
 respectively.
To begin
, there was a downward trend observed for exports to Japan and
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 throughout the period. the former started relatively higher at 25% in 1990 which dropped significantly around 17% in 2012. On the other side, the latter fell sharply from 11% in 1990 to 8% in 1995, before recovering back to 11% in 2000. What is more, it was significantly reduced again to 5% in 2010, but a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
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 increase to 6% in 2012 was reported. On the other side, the exports to China and India have experienced an upward trend within the indicated timeline. The first started at 2% in 1990 to
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
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 gradually to 5% in 2000
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 before substantially
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 to 25% in 2010.
Then
 a slight increase to 28% was reported in 2012.
However
, the second one remained steady
at1
Correct your spelling
at
% between 1990-
2000
Correct word choice
and 2000
show examples
, before considerably
Wrong verb form
jumping
show examples
jumped
Wrong verb form
jumping
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 to 6.5% in 2010.
Conversely
, a slight decline to 5% was indicated in 2012.
Submitted by ototonji.ot on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of information and ideas to demonstrate better coherence. While the overall trend is described, the essay lacks clear comparisons and contrasting between data points.
coherence cohesion
Introduce and close the topic effectively by establishing the context in the introduction and summarizing the overall trends in conclusion. While you provided the former, the latter is missing.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with precise data. Some points are underdeveloped or lacking detail, impacting the clarity and demonstration of understanding.
task achievement
It is essential to present a complete response to the prompt, addressing all aspects of the task with sufficient detail. You should avoid discrepancies like mentioning 'Australian export' while the task requires information on UK exports. This indicates a misunderstanding of the task.
task achievement
Develop ideas comprehensively by elaborating on trends and providing more detailed comparisons between countries. Aim for a clear progression of ideas with logical explanations and descriptions.
task achievement
Use relevant examples and evidence from the graph to support your assertions. Make sure that the details you provide are accurate and specifically relate to the data presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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