In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

In the modern era, individuals are still in situations; where they do not feel themselves in a safe zone, even when the percentage of grave offences has decreased to a great extent in most nations. There are various extrapolations behind
this
scenario but along
this
, some measures can be adhered
to
Change preposition
to to
show examples
reduce
this
mence.
To begin
with, as the physical dangers to humans have reduced from yesteryears, cyber crimes have been proved as a gigantic trouble for society. Like, in nations like India, when highly educated youngsters do not get well-paid jobs
then
they choose the wrong pathway for their earnings which is called internet scams.
Moreover
, the delinquents on the internet are increasing rapidly and are making the lives of common people hard
as well as
unsafe. Even though, the masses do not feel safe
while
doing Internet banking.
Furthermore
, social media apps
such
as Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp are considered most detrimental nowadays because there is no privacy on these applications are most fishing attacks are promoted through these.
Therefore
, all these problems are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
major concerns of common people. There are various measures that can be followed, the first one is making the public aware of these offences through local campaigns that can be conducted weekly. Meanwhile, certain advertisements can be published in newspapers
along
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these ads can be telecasted on television as well to generate awareness among people to protect themselves from online thefts so, that can feel to be in safe surroundings.
To conclude
,
according to
the matrimonials mentioned above one can reach to logical result that the problem of online crimes is quite dangerous but
this
could be solved by taking preventive measures to
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
risk-free.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, each fulfilling its purpose. The introduction should present the topic and key question, the body should provide arguments and exploration of the topic, and the conclusion should summarize the main points and answer the question.
development
Work on developing ideas more comprehensively, with clearer explanations and justifications. The response could benefit from deeper exploration and a more direct addressing of the set question. Both causes and solutions should be expanded on with equal focus.
cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring that paragraphs are logically ordered and ideas within paragraphs are well-connected. Using a wider range of cohesive devices can enhance the flow of information.
grammar & vocabulary
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary, as there are multiple errors and awkward expressions present that can lead to misunderstanding. Consider revising grammar and expanding lexicon.
task response
It is essential to directly address the prompt by discussing both the causes and solutions to the perception of decreased safety. Address the contrast between the decrease in actual crime rates and the persistent feeling of being unsafe, and provide specific, real-world examples to back up your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • availability heuristic
  • media coverage
  • misinformation
  • urbanization
  • community cohesion
  • justice system
  • economic inequality
  • community policing
  • media literacy
  • surveillance
  • swift justice
  • social cohesion
  • neighborhood watch
  • deterrent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: