People think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others believe that there are other alternative solutions for reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion on this topic

In our daily
life
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lives
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, crime rates are increasing. Some people
belives
Verb problem
believe
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that
duration
Correct article usage
the duration
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of punishment should increase.
However
, some
thinks
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think
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that there should be other ways to stop the crime. In my point of view, there should be alternative ways to control the illegal offences.
Firstly
, if the sentence time
would increase
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increases
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,
offencers
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officers
offences
would
Wrong verb form
will
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fear
of
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apply
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long sentences.
Submitted by nitusidhu650 on

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task achievement
Your essay lacks a sufficient discussion of both views as required by the prompt. Be sure to fully explore both the perspective that favors longer prison sentences and the alternative solutions suggested for reducing crime. Additionally, develop your conclusion further to clearly state your personal stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
You need to improve the logical flow and organization of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and the entire essay follows a logical sequence. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the connection between sentences and paragraphs, and provide a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • habitual offenders
  • retribution
  • rehabilitation
  • overcrowding
  • recidivism
  • community service
  • restorative justice
  • crime prevention programs
  • youth mentorship
  • neighborhood watch
  • justice system
  • re-offending
  • financial strain
What to do next:
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