Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring more advantages or disadvantages ?
In recent years,
people
started to do things
through the use of special machines
rather than to do them manually.While
this
tendency has several benefits such
as time
efficiency and increased productivity
,it also
has many undeniable drawbacks,including loss of employment.
One of the main advantages of people
opting for doing things
using machines
instead
of doing them by hand is that it can save their time
as most machines
do tasks autonomously without any human intervention and in this
case,individuals
can focus on more important things
instead
of doing tasks.For example
,washing machines
clean clothes without involving individuals
and people
can allocate their time
to more necessary activities rather than washing them by hand.
Furthermore
,doing work with the help of machines
can lead to increased productivity
because people
may not do tasks as well and accurately as machines
.For instance
,sewing machines
sew clothes very accurately and in a better way rather than individuals
which may lead to increased productivity
.
Despite its benefits,it also
has some drawbacks.One major concern is that the tendency to use machines
to do things
rather than to do them manually among individuals
can lead to a loss of skills
.As a result
of overreliance on technology ,people
do not want to do work by hand ,and over time
they start to lose their skills
and
in the long run,it can lead to job losses as they may not have any Correct word choice
apply
skills
in their occupations.For example
,in many developed countries,residents are more inclined to use technological tools to do things
and they started to lose their skills
and ultimately,their occupations
Taking everything into account, while
opting for technological tools to do things
instead
of doing them manually has many benefits,such
as productivity
and time saving
,it is important to consider its potential drawbacks,including job displacement.Add a hyphen
time-saving
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Coherence & Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and engage your reader.
Task Achievement
Try to deepen your analysis by exploring the implications of losing skills and job displacement more thoroughly in your argument, as this could strengthen your essay's persuasiveness.
General
Remember to proofread your essay for minor errors in grammar or punctuation, as refining these can polish your writing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear overview and a succinct summary of your argument.
Task Achievement
You successfully included relevant examples to support your main points, enhancing the credibility of your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay made it easy to follow your line of reasoning.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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