Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring more advantages or disadvantages ?

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In recent years,
people
started to do
things
through the use of special
machines
rather than to do them manually.
While
this
tendency has several benefits
such
as
time
efficiency and increased
productivity
,it
also
has many undeniable drawbacks,including loss of employment. One of the main advantages of
people
opting for doing
things
using
machines
instead
of doing them by hand is that it can save their
time
as most
machines
do tasks autonomously without any human intervention and in
this
case,
individuals
can focus on more important
things
instead
of doing tasks.
For example
,washing
machines
clean clothes without involving
individuals
and
people
can allocate their
time
to more necessary activities rather than washing them by hand.
Furthermore
,doing work with the help of
machines
can lead to increased
productivity
because
people
may not do tasks as well and accurately as
machines
.
For instance
,sewing
machines
sew clothes very accurately and in a better way rather than
individuals
which may lead to increased
productivity
. Despite its benefits,it
also
has some drawbacks.One major concern is that the tendency to use
machines
to do
things
rather than to do them manually among
individuals
can lead to a loss of
skills
.
As a result
of overreliance on technology ,
people
do not want to do work by hand ,and over
time
they start to lose their
skills
and
Correct word choice
apply
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in the long run,it can lead to job losses as they may not have any
skills
in their occupations.
For example
,in many developed countries,residents are more inclined to use technological tools to do
things
and they started to lose their
skills
and ultimately,their occupations Taking everything into account,
while
opting for technological tools to do
things
instead
of doing them manually has many benefits,
such
as
productivity
and
time saving
Add a hyphen
time-saving
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,it is important to consider its potential drawbacks,including job displacement.
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Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and engage your reader.
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Try to deepen your analysis by exploring the implications of losing skills and job displacement more thoroughly in your argument, as this could strengthen your essay's persuasiveness.
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Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear overview and a succinct summary of your argument.
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Coherence & Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay made it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • domestic help
  • smart home technologies
  • energy-efficient
  • resource depletion
  • over-dependence
  • external services
  • maintenance
  • replacements
  • leisure activities
  • tedious tasks
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