Being involved in the arts makes people feel better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#arts #people

this

period of modernity many people are

involed

Correct your spelling

involved

in the

arts

makes persons feel better.For many years, humans have been

creatings

Correct your spelling

creating

and enjoying

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

.In my opinion,I strongly agree with

this

nation and my opinion will be discussed in

further

Add an article

a further

the further

show examples

paragraph with a suitable conclusion. supporting my agreement

Change preposition

with

show examples

the given statement.I firmly believe that

arts

Change the verb form

are

show examples

essential as it all the developmental domains in child development.

Moreover

, it helps in physical

develment

Correct your spelling

development

and

enhanchings

Correct your spelling

enhancing

gross and

motors

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motor

show examples

skills.to cite an example,playing with dough can

finr-tune

Correct your spelling

fine-tune

find-tune

your muscle control in your fingers.

For instance

,art is universal and can be found everywhere.

Explaning

Correct your spelling

Explaining

some of

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another supporting points

Replace the adjective

another supporting point

other supporting points

show examples

in favour

this

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of this

show examples

statement.It

is believe

Change the verb form

is believed

show examples

that art is a way to show your feelings and ideas, but without words.Some use paints

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

brush on a canvas .

Other

Fix the agreement mistake

Others

show examples

use clay to make sculptures.

even

Capitalize word

Even

show examples

takings

Correct your spelling

taking

show examples

photos is a kind of

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

. Art can

Verb problem

make

show examples

you happy and more curious. In

conclusion

Add a comma

conclusion,

show examples

being involved in the

arts

makes people feel better.I believe that

aforementioned

Correct article usage

the aforementioned

show examples

points

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

strongly

supportings

Correct your spelling

supporting

view points

Correct your spelling

viewpoints

show examples

Submitted by ilhanctg2019 on Tue Jan 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay presents a basic structure, but there is significant room for improvement in creating a more coherent and cohesive argument. Use clear paragraphing and make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea. Connect your ideas with appropriate linking words. Provide a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarises your main points effectively. Additionally, be more vigilant in the use of punctuation to enhance the clarity of your sentences.

task achievement

While your essay addresses the question, your response lacks full development of ideas with specifically relevant examples. Ensure that each paragraph contains a single clear point that is expanded with specific details or examples. Avoid overly broad statements without support and strive for depth rather than breadth in your coverage of the topic. Furthermore, proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and strive for greater precision and accuracy in your language use.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

175 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Artistic activities
Mental health
Emotional well-being
Sense of community
Self-expression
Creativity
Self-esteem
Personal growth
Art therapy
Emotional release
Communication
Subjective impact
Stress reduction
Relaxation
Outlet for emotions

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Being involved in the arts makes people feel better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

"Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?"

Many rare species are being poached. What are the reasons behind this? What can be done about this problem

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise. Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

Review the book "In Valeria's Shoes" by Elisabet Benavent.

In some countries today, many people decide to have their first child when they are older. Why? Is it a positive or negative phenomenon?