IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays women have full-time work as same as men. And logically men should share the household equally with women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#women #work #men #household
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In the contemporary world,
women
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 have been breaking the traditional norms by engaging in full-time work, matching the same occupational
responsibilities
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 as
men
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.
This
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 societal shift has raised an essential question: Should
men
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 share the
household
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chores
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 equally with
women
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? In my perspective, I completely agree with
this
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 notion. The primary reason for my agreement lies in the principle of equality and fairness. In a world where
women
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 are equally contributing to financial stability, it is only fair that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
domestic
responsibilities
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 are
also
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 equally divided. Sharing
chores
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 not only lightens the workload but
also
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 fosters a sense of unity and cooperation within the family.
Secondly
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, the traditional belief that
household
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chores
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 are exclusively a woman's responsibility is an outdated concept and does not fit into the modern context. As society evolves, so should the roles and
responsibilities
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 within a family.
Men
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 participating in
household
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 tasks can
also
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 serve as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
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 for children, teaching them about gender equality and shared
responsibilities
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 from an early age.
However
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, it is
also
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 crucial to consider that the division of tasks should be based on individual strengths and preferences rather than strictly on gender. If a man is better at cooking and a woman is more adept at fixing things around the house,
chores
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 should be divided
accordingly
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. In conclusion, in an era where
women
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 are working full-time and contributing equally to the financial aspect of a family, it is only logical and fair that
men
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 should participate equally in
household
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chores
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.
This
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 not only encourages a balanced lifestyle but
also
Linking Words
 promotes a sense of equality, respect, and cooperation within the family.
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing the main question of whether men should share household chores equally. However, adding more specific examples or real-life cases would further strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is strong, with a clear progression from introduction to conclusion. Each paragraph connects well with the next, maintaining a smooth flow of ideas. Continue to ensure that each point is fully developed and supported.
coherence cohesion
The essay starts with a solid introduction and concludes effectively, framing your argument cohesively.
coherence cohesion
You have presented well-structured, relevant main points that support your argument.
task achievement
The response is clear, comprehensive, and addresses the task fully, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your ideas are expressed clearly, with logical reasoning and fair evaluation of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • mutual respect
  • work-life balance
  • traditional gender roles
  • equitable distribution
  • shared responsibilities
  • modern values
  • child development
  • physical and mental load
  • household chores
  • stereotypes
  • fairness
  • conflict resolution
  • responsibility sharing
  • collaborative effort
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