Certain people posit that engaging children in team sports is advantageous, promoting collaboration toward a common goal. Conversely, others argue that the principal advantage of team sports lies in nurturing a competitive spirit. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals argue that involving children in
team
sports is beneficial as it fosters collaboration towards a shared objective. Alternatively, others contend that the primary benefit of team
sports would be the cultivation of a competitive spirit. This
essay will explore both perspectives and ultimately conclude that a balanced approach that incorporates both elements can significantly contribute to a child's comprehensive development.
On the one hand, being part of the same team
helps individuals feel more united. For instance
, when the team
is victorious, all players share happiness and satisfaction. Conversely
, defeat cannot be attributed to the mistakes of a single child. So, in this
scenario, all members should learn how to support each other to achieve a shared team
victory.
On the other hand
, children aspire to outperform and surpass their peers to be recognized as leaders of their group. Additionally
, this
dedicated effort, driven by the desire for leadership and recognition, is a well-recognized human behaviour that encourages hard work. For example
, athletes aim to train harder than their counterparts to gain recognition in the eyes of their coaches. Furthermore
, they are more devoted to excel
and Wrong verb form
excelling
overcome
challenges during matches, aiming to be voted as the best player of the day. Wrong verb form
overcoming
Consequently
, this
additional effort contributes to a continuous process of self-improvement.
In summary, being part of a team
stimulates cooperation and a sense of belonging, while
aspiring to be the leader of the team
nurtures the effort to improve more than others. In my opinion, both aspects—collaboration and competition—play crucial roles in the overall
development of children. Moreover
, team
sports provide a holistic learning experience by combining the benefits of teamwork and competitiveness.Submitted by giuliarighetti on
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Coherence & Cohesion
While the essay features a clear introduction and conclusion with an evident final position, it would benefit from more varied and complex sentence structures to improve readability and logical flow. The usage of linking devices and cohesive devices is adequate but could be diversified to enhance the overall coherence.
Task Achievement
The response adequately addresses all parts of the task, although it could be more fully extended with additional specific examples and further exploration of the points raised. The main ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, but incorporating specific instances or concrete evidence would make the argument more persuasive.
Your opinion
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