Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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One of the social concerns today relates to
university
education
.
While
it is commonly thought that the aim of
university
education
is to help
graduates
get better
jobs
, others believe it brings wider
benefits
for both individuals and
society
. I’m going to discuss these opposing points of view. In my opinion,
college
Correct article usage
a college
show examples
education
has a
lot
of advantages for the
graduates
and
society
. On the one hand, it is argued that the aim of
university
education
is to help
graduates
get better
jobs
.
Firstly
, they have a
lot
of knowledge and more opportunities at work. It is
also
possible to say that it is easy for them to find
jobs
that match their qualifications.
Secondly
,
graduates
can have many promotion opportunities to higher positions
such
as team leaders or managers.
For example
, many CEOs say that they often promote those who graduate from
university
because they believe these
graduates
can have enough knowledge and skills.
On the other hand
, it is strongly believed by others that
university
education
brings wider
benefits
of
university
education
for both individuals and
society
. People often have
this
opinion because knowledge will help people think well and contribute to the development of
society
. A second point is that after graduation, a student often has a wide social network which can help him or her a
lot
in the future working life.
For example
, my friend has just started a company and most of his clients are his classmates at
university
. In conclusion, it is commonly thought that the aim of a
university
education
is to help
graduates
get better
jobs
, meanwhile, others assume that it offers wider
benefits
of a
university
education
for both individuals and
society
. Personally, I tend to believe that learning at
university
can help students gain a
lot
of
benefits
, not only
jobs
.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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task achievement
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and the main points are fully developed. The essay introduces different views and your personal opinion, which is good, but you should provide more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a recognizable structure, with an introduction and conclusion. However, to improve cohesion, you should ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and make better use of cohesive devices. Avoid abrupt jumps between ideas to enhance the flow of your argument.
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