In today's world many people own a smartphone. do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowsaday
, Correct your spelling
Nowadays
smartphone
is Add an article
the smartphone
a smartphone
neccessary
and Correct your spelling
necessary
people
always hang it
nearby themself. Correct pronoun usage
them
Smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
Smartphones
is helped
Wrong verb form
help
peole
to do anything easily and Correct your spelling
people
people
can use
it
anytime or anywhere.Correct pronoun usage
them
bUT
USING MORE Correct your spelling
But
SMARTPHONE
HAS A BIG NEGATIVE EFFECT ON PEOPLE
HEALTH. THEY HAVE A HEACHACHE AND EFFECT ON THEIR EYES.
iN
MODERN WORLD , Change the capitalization
IN
PEOPLE
DO MORE WORK
ON THE INTERNET AND THEY THINK SMARTPHONE
IS CONVENIENT TO USE
THE INTERNET EASILY. STUDY, RESEARCH OR WORK
, WHICH NEED ON THIER
Correct your spelling
THEIR
WORK
AND IT HAVE TO FINISH ON TIME
SO PEOPLE
CHOOSE
Add the particle
CHOOSE TO
USE
SMARTPHONE
TO EASY TO DO THIS
WORK
.THEY CAN DO THEIR WORK
ON ANYWHERE AND ANYTIME. GET
IN TOUCH WITH SOMEONE IS Wrong verb form
GETTING
NECCESSARY
TOO . Correct your spelling
NECESSARY
FOR EXAMPLE
, IF THEIR FRIENDS OR THEIR FAMILY LIVE SO FAR THEIR
HOUSE , THEY CAN Change preposition
FROM THEIR
USE
PHONE
Correct article usage
THE PHONE
FOR
CALL Change preposition
TO
VIDEO
, HAVE A MESSAGE OR CONTACT Correct article usage
A VIDEO
WITH
THEM.
Change preposition
apply
ON THE OTHER HAND
, USING MORE SMARTPHONE
FOR A LONG Fix the agreement mistake
SMARTPHONES
TIME
HAS A BIG NEGATIVE EFFECT ON PEOPLE
HEALTH. THEIR EYES WILL BE WEAK AND MORE Change noun form
PEOPLE'S
PEOPLE
WILL GET GLASSES IN THE FUTURE. MORE PEOPLE
USE
SMARTPHONE
TOO MUCH AND THEY DO NOT TAKE CARE OF THEIRSELF AND THEIR Fix the agreement mistake
SMARTPHONES
FAMILY
. FOR Fix the agreement mistake
FAMILIES
EXAMPLES
, IN VIETNAM , MORE Fix the agreement mistake
EXAMPLE
PEOPLE
ARE EASY TO CROSS WITH SOMETHING OR SOMEBODY AND THEY DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THE NEWS OR PEOPLE
LIVE
NEARBY, THEY DO NOT TAKE CARE OF Wrong verb form
LIVING
THEIRSELF
AND MAKE Correct your spelling
THEMSELVES
INJURY
Correct article usage
AN INJURY
WITH
THE OTHERS.
IN CONCLUSION, Change preposition
TO
SMARTPHONE
Fix the agreement mistake
SMARTPHONES
IS
Correct subject-verb agreement
ARE
NECCESSARY
FOR Correct your spelling
NECESSARY
A
MODERN LIFE AND Correct article usage
apply
IT
MAKE THE EARTH GROW Correct pronoun usage
THEY
UP
BUT Change preposition
apply
PEOPLE
NEED
Add the particle
NEED TO
USE
IT
Correct pronoun usage
THEM
FIT
IN WITH MORE SITUATIONS. I THINK , Fix the infinitive
TO FIT
PEOPLE
SHOULD DECREASE TIME
Correct pronoun usage
THEIR TIME
USE
Wrong verb form
USING
SMARTPHONE
AND SPEND MORE Fix the agreement mistake
SMARTPHONES
TIME
FOR
THEIR Change preposition
WITH
FAMILY
AND THEIRSELF.Fix the agreement mistake
FAMILIES
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure which makes it difficult to follow your arguments. To improve coherence, start with a clear introductory paragraph that outlines your essay's structure. Then, proceed with a series of well-organized paragraphs, each containing a single main idea supported by examples and reasoning. Don't forget to use cohesive devices such as linking words (furthermore, however, therefore) to connect your ideas.
task achievement
Your attempt to cover the task is noted, but the response needs to be more fully developed with a clearer and more comprehensive explanation of the points made. To improve your task achievement score, be sure to fully answer the question by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear opinion in the conclusion. Use relevant examples to support your ideas, and make sure that the examples are specific and directly related to the question.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.