IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweiht the disadvantages?

#world #people #smartphone #outweiht
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In the modern era,
smartphones
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 have become a part of our lives and bring lots of convenience.
This
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 author believes that the benefits of
access to
Wrong verb form
accessing
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information
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 easily and bringing entertainment to everyone through the smartphone can exceed the disadvantages of distraction at work.
Firstly
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,
information
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 is very critical nowadays, and
smartphones
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 can provide access to a vast amount of
information
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 via the Internet. Users can research, read news and learn new skills through browsers.
For instance
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, 90% of people nowadays use GOOGLE to search for
information
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 on
this
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 browser,
brings
Correct pronoun usage
which brings
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 lots of income for
this
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 company. Another advantage is gives individuals various ways to entertain themselves. Entertainment has a big impact on human life, and
smartphones
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 can offer a range of entertainment options,
such
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 as streaming, listening to music and reading e-books.
As a result
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, more and more people own a smartphone to find a way to entertain themselves after a hard working day.
However
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, the drawback of using technology
such
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 as
smartphones
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 can be noticed as a distraction from work.
Although
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 it can bring various
information
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 for individuals, we can be distracted from work because there are lot of
information
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 on the Internet and we want to explore them all, which may contribute to social isolation when they replace face-to-face interaction. In conclusion, the advantages can outweigh the drawbacks in every field and need to be developed more.
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structure
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, at least two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a central idea and be expanded with relevant details.
cohesion
Improve the logical sequencing of ideas and ensure clear and logical progression from one paragraph to the next. Use cohesive devices effectively.
development
Elaborate more on the main points with developed arguments, substantial evidence, and relevant examples that directly support your thesis.
task response
Address the task question fully by discussing both sides and clearly stating your position. Provide a balanced discussion before reaching a well-supported conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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