in today's world many people own a smartphone. do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, almost people around the world all possess
one
or more than one
smartphone
. The writer of this
essay believes that despite our people owning a smartphone
, the benefits
offered greatly outweigh any and all drawbacks.
Having a smartphone
has several advantages, one
of which is that it may support your child's education. Your child's education can benefit from your cell phone
in a number of ways. They can use
it to access necessary information about any topic or subject they want on the available internet Not only this
, the student can even have interactive educational videos or play some video games to improving
their critical thinking Wrong verb form
improve
as well as
use
applications. They can easily and effectively search the internet for any topic.
Furthermore
, online payment is one
of the best benefits
that using a crude phone
extract brings. You can use
it to pay your bill went you go to a restaurant or go shopping without carrying your purse. Because in this
day and age, all types of smartphones have banking features or applications to be able to pay online without using cash. For example
, when you use
an iPhone from Apple, you can use
Apple Pay to abate all your funds. Owning a phone
and using it for pay is very convenient.
Despite the many benefits
of owning a smartphone
, we still cannot deny the negatives that it brings to our health. Using a phone
for a long time can make your eyes become weaker and maybe can make you feel tired. As an example, there are many articles that say that using mobile phones for a long time can make our eyes weak and gradually develop eye diseases. In my opinion, the impact on health is the biggest drawback of owning the
Correct article usage
a
phone
.
In conclusion, the benefits
of possessing a phone
provided much exceed any and all disadvantages.Submitted by [email protected] on
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure needs improvement. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and subsequent sentences that coherently support that main idea. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be fluid to guide the reader smoothly through your argument.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, but they can be better developed. The introduction should more clearly state the topic and your position. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position, providing a thoughtful end to the essay without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Main points need clearer support with specific examples and a more in-depth exploration. Use concrete evidence or anecdotes to illustrate your points, which would help substantiate your argument and make it more persuasive.
task achievement
To completely respond to the task, ensure that you address both the advantages and disadvantages of smartphone ownership in a balanced manner. Additionally, make a reasoned argument about why one outweighs the other, providing specific examples and thorough analysis.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on your ideas to enhance understanding. For example, when discussing the educational benefits of smartphones, delve into how specific applications can enhance learning or offer examples of educational success stories facilitated by smartphones.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your claims. For instance, reference studies or statistics when discussing the health impacts of smartphone use, to lend credibility to your argument and make it more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.