Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
As time goes by, some
countries
are developed as fast as lightning. Use synonyms
However
, it seems that there are Linking Words
also
some poor Linking Words
countries
which unable to be Use synonyms
well developed
and it might Add a hyphen
well-developed
Linking Words
due
to financial Add a missing verb
be due
problem
. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
This
will cause wealthy Linking Words
nations
often donate Use synonyms
money
to less developed Use synonyms
nations
, yet Use synonyms
this
does not end poverty. Linking Words
Therefore
, despite providing financial aid, wealthier Linking Words
nations
Use synonyms
ought
provide help in Add the word
ought to
the
other ways to developing Correct article usage
apply
nations
. In my opinion, developed Use synonyms
countries
should utilize other non-motery measures including educational opportunities to eradicate poverty.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, when developed Linking Words
countries
donate Use synonyms
money
to undeveloped Use synonyms
countries
, it will help citizens in these Use synonyms
countries
to solve short-term problems, and it will not Use synonyms
last
long. Citizens will still be Linking Words
poor
as they might Rephrase
as poor
due to
Linking Words
lack
of active and passive incomes. When inhabitants in emerging Correct article usage
a lack
countries
receive Use synonyms
money
from donations, they use it to pay the temporary Use synonyms
cost
or issues. Fix the agreement mistake
costs
For instance
, in 2005, the United States donated about 20 billion to some undeveloped Linking Words
countries
, but still, it only helped people to solve the problem for two months. After that, they continued poorly.
Use synonyms
Moreover
, developed Linking Words
countries
should invest in healthcare and education rather than loan Use synonyms
money
to other Use synonyms
countries
. When the younger generation receives a quality education and everyone has access to proper medical treatment and hospitality, it will help eliminate unemployment and prevent people from resorting to unlawful activities. So developed Use synonyms
countries
must avail in building good schools, universities, and hospitals. Other than that, they can help stabilize the government in these Use synonyms
countries
and monitor whether the political environment is conducive to growth. Use synonyms
Although
Linking Words
money
helps feed the hungry lot, it is only a temporary solution.
Use synonyms
However
, before providing help with other aid to developing Linking Words
countries
, developed Use synonyms
countries
should give financial assistance to developing Use synonyms
countries
because people say that Use synonyms
money
does solve most problems.
To summarize, I Use synonyms
agree
the opinion that rich Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
countries
should provide practical help to improve the economic status of developing Use synonyms
countries
. Use synonyms
However
, financial assistance can only help to a certain extent and is not the definite way to eliminate poverty.Linking Words
Submitted by cennieqianning on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay covers the topic, but could benefit from clearer development of ideas and examples that are directly related to the question posed. The logical structure could be improved by more effectively introducing the topic, presenting arguments, and providing a conclusion that summarises the main points while restating the opinion. Use linking words and phrases to enhance coherence between sentences.
task achievement
The essay needs to fully address all parts of the task. It should clearly present a position throughout the response; however, the essay appears to drift between different viewpoints, which may be confusing to the reader. Providing a consistent standpoint with clearly developed ideas supported by relevant examples would make the argument more persuasive and meet the task requirements more completely.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.