Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
As time goes by, some
countries
are developed as fast as lightning. However
, it seems that there are also
some poor countries
which unable to be well developed
and it might Add a hyphen
well-developed
due
to financial Add a missing verb
be due
problem
. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
This
will cause wealthy nations
often donate money
to less developed nations
, yet this
does not end poverty. Therefore
, despite providing financial aid, wealthier nations
ought
provide help in Add the word
ought to
the
other ways to developing Correct article usage
apply
nations
. In my opinion, developed countries
should utilize other non-motery measures including educational opportunities to eradicate poverty.
Firstly
, when developed countries
donate money
to undeveloped countries
, it will help citizens in these countries
to solve short-term problems, and it will not last
long. Citizens will still be poor
as they might Rephrase
as poor
due to
lack
of active and passive incomes. When inhabitants in emerging Correct article usage
a lack
countries
receive money
from donations, they use it to pay the temporary cost
or issues. Fix the agreement mistake
costs
For instance
, in 2005, the United States donated about 20 billion to some undeveloped countries
, but still, it only helped people to solve the problem for two months. After that, they continued poorly.
Moreover
, developed countries
should invest in healthcare and education rather than loan money
to other countries
. When the younger generation receives a quality education and everyone has access to proper medical treatment and hospitality, it will help eliminate unemployment and prevent people from resorting to unlawful activities. So developed countries
must avail in building good schools, universities, and hospitals. Other than that, they can help stabilize the government in these countries
and monitor whether the political environment is conducive to growth. Although
money
helps feed the hungry lot, it is only a temporary solution.
However
, before providing help with other aid to developing countries
, developed countries
should give financial assistance to developing countries
because people say that money
does solve most problems.
To summarize, I agree
the opinion that rich Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
countries
should provide practical help to improve the economic status of developing countries
. However
, financial assistance can only help to a certain extent and is not the definite way to eliminate poverty.Submitted by cennieqianning on
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coherence cohesion
The essay covers the topic, but could benefit from clearer development of ideas and examples that are directly related to the question posed. The logical structure could be improved by more effectively introducing the topic, presenting arguments, and providing a conclusion that summarises the main points while restating the opinion. Use linking words and phrases to enhance coherence between sentences.
task achievement
The essay needs to fully address all parts of the task. It should clearly present a position throughout the response; however, the essay appears to drift between different viewpoints, which may be confusing to the reader. Providing a consistent standpoint with clearly developed ideas supported by relevant examples would make the argument more persuasive and meet the task requirements more completely.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.