1.Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?
Several individuals believe that good
health
is crucial to everyone, so medical services
should not be managed by profit-making companies. In my opinion, I think that whether the advantages of private health
care outweigh the disadvantages depends on the financial capability of each person.
On the one hand, it is clear that
the advantages of personal healthcare
are providing high-quality facilities as well as
good services
because good health
is vital to every individual, so they want to invest the most in their health
. For example
, many private hospitals have developed in my country, Vietnam because of their convenience. To illustrate, if you go to a private hospital for an examination, you do not need to wait in long time to take your turn. However
, you must wait a couple of hours in public hospitals for your turn-taking. Additionally
, each sick room of a personal healthcare
centre consists of only one to two patients
, opposite, this
figure is from 12 to 22 patients
in a public hospital room . It means that can not only private medical services
bring a sense of comfort to patients
, but it also
helps them to save time. Therefore
, the wealthy always choose private healthcare
centres.
On the other hand
, the expensive cost of private healthcare
services
is also
a disadvantage because not everyone has much money, and there are different classes in society. For instance
, in Vietnam, I must pay from 50 to 100 VND for each examination at a public hospital. Conversely
, this
figure booms from 300 to one million VND in a personal healthcare
centre, which leads to a financial burden on patients
coming from poor families. Thus
, the groups of middle-income and lower-income classes think that medical services
should not be run by profit-making companies.
In conclusion, I think that whether the benefits of private health
care outweigh the backdraws
depends on the financial situation of each individual, Correct your spelling
back draws
such
as, the rich use the services
of the
private hospital which was not only saving time but Correct article usage
a
also
luxurious and the poor use the services
of the public hospital which was cheap cost.Submitted by writingeilts on
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task achievement
Your task response is generally good. You provide a balanced view and incorporate relevant examples. However, ensure your points are fully developed and explained to enhance the depth of your argument.
task achievement
While your ideas are clearly presented, work on making your main points more comprehensive. This can be achieved by including more detailed explanations and connecting them more smoothly to your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is excellent for coherence. However, refining your transitions between paragraphs can make your logical structure even stronger.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is well-maintained, but work on refining your paragraphs to ensure they are well-developed with clear topic sentences and supporting details. This will make your argument flow more logically.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion. You effectively summarize your main points, providing a solid framework for your argument.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, which enhances the task response. These examples are effectively integrated and help in illustrating your arguments.
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