IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

process showing how drinkable water is produced using solar power

#process #water #power
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The provided diagram vividly illustrates the way in which fresh and drinking
water
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 is prepared via renewable solar energy. Which is a
process
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 that unfolds over several stages.
Overall
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, it is clearly observable that the whole
process
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 consists of 5 distinct stages, commencing with absorption of sunlight and culminating with pouring pure
water
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 into a portable container.
To begin
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 with, the solar panel absorbs sunlight and converts it to energy. In the subsequent stage, the power goes through the control
process
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 by the solar controller. Prior to the transformation of
water
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 into the filtering system, the electricity should be sent into a device which enables the
water
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 to go to the next step. With regard to the purification
process
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 itself, impure
water
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 undergoes 3 stages of filtration and
then
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 is poured into a big container which is situated on a wooden platform.
Finally
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, fresh
water
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 is collected into a smaller moveable container by tap.
Submitted by m.r.zamani1376678 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your essay has a clear introductory statement and a summarizing conclusion to frame your response. Your text lacks a conclusive statement which could have summarized the overall process and purpose effectively.
logical structure
To maintain coherence, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Your essay follows a logical order, but could benefit from clearer transitions and the use of cohesive devices that link ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
supported main points
Elaborate on main points with supporting examples or a more detailed explanation to demonstrate comprehensive understanding. Although the basics of the process are covered, more detailed descriptions or explanations could better support the main points.
clear comprehensive ideas
While all stages of the process are described, ensuring that each is explained comprehensively is important for a full response. Aim to elaborate a bit more to convey a thorough understanding of the process.
relevant specific examples
When discussing processes, using specific examples or a detailed step-by-step description can make your explanation clearer and more relevant. Consider adding more specific details at each step to enhance relevance.
complete response
Complete the task by ensuring all parts of the process are discussed. It seems that some minor details may be missing, which are necessary for a more complete response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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