IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that one of the ways to solve environmental problems is to increase price of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #price #fuel #cars #vehicles
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Some individuals believe that increasing the price of
fuel
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 for
vehicles
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 is an effective way to address environmental concerns.
While
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this
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 measure may reduce
fuel
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 consumption and promote alternative transportation, it is not a comprehensive solution. I partially agree with
this
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 view but believe other actions are equally or more important. Raising
fuel
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prices
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 could reduce the number of cars on the road. Higher
fuel
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 costs would make people think twice about using private
vehicles
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 and encourage them to consider public transportation, cycling, or walking.
Moreover
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, fewer cars would result in reduced emissions, which would positively impact air quality.
For example
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, cities that promote public transport often see a drop in pollution levels and congestion.
However
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, simply increasing
fuel
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prices
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 might not be a fair solution for everyone. Many people rely on private
vehicles
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 for work or because they live in areas where public transport is limited or unreliable. For them, higher
fuel
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prices
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 would lead to financial strain without providing a reasonable alternative.
This
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 could disproportionately affect low-income families or rural communities.
Furthermore
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, addressing environmental problems requires a broader approach,
such
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 as investing in renewable energy, developing cleaner public transportation systems, and encouraging electric
vehicles
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. Governments could
also
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 implement stricter emission regulations or offer incentives for people to switch to greener options, which would be more sustainable in the long term.
While
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 increasing
fuel
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prices
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 could contribute to reducing environmental damage, it is not a standalone solution. A combination of measures, including improvements in infrastructure and the promotion of alternative energy sources, is essential for a significant and lasting impact.
Submitted by millionmiles.indonesia on

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task achievement
To enhance task response, consider providing a bit more detail in your examples and discussing potential counterarguments briefly to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, you might want to add transitional phrases between paragraphs to further enhance the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, both of which effectively frame the argument.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples and explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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