You participated in a public event organized at a local park. Write a letter to the event organizer. In your letter tell them some feedback about the event; explain what you particularly enjoyed; give some suggestions for improvement.

#event #park #organizer #feedback #suggestions #improvement

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Dear grandmother The purpose of my writing to you is to apologize for not being able to contact you earlier. The reason is that I have been busy with classes lately,

there

Correct word choice

and there

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have been a number of tests. There were extra classes even on weekends. I couldn't contact you and other family members for a long time. I couldn't even go home. I will be in front of you in a few days.I want to meet you on January 15. I look forward to meeting you. I will wait for your answer. You are the best and most precious person for me. Your beloved grandson Dilorom

Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on Tue Jan 09 2024

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task achievement

Ensure you address all parts of the task given: providing feedback on the event, detailing what you enjoyed, and offering suggestions for improvement. The letter submitted did not address the task as it was more of a personal letter to a family member rather than to an event organizer about a public event.

coherence cohesion

To improve logical structure, organize the letter with an appropriate greeting related to the context and clear, purposeful paragraphs. Each paragraph should ideally represent a single, coherent idea. The provided letter did not follow the structure of an event feedback letter.

coherence cohesion

Start with a proper greeting to the event organizer and end with an appropriate closing statement for a formal letter. The letter provided did not have a suitable greeting or closing for the context of writing to an event organizer.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

0
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

106 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

event organizer
public event
local park
feedback
organized
community engagement
performances
logistical
facilities
crowd management
inclusivity
local businesses
atmosphere
volunteer
memorable
suggestions for improvement
upcoming events

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You participated in a public event organized at a local park. Write a letter to the event organizer. In your letter tell them some feedback about the event; explain what you particularly enjoyed; give some suggestions for improvement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Traffic jam is increasing, what are causes and solution?

More and more people want things instantly (e.g: goods, services, news). Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?