Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others,however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinon.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place #opinon

It is important to consider how children should learn to become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

member

Fix the agreement mistake

members

show examples

of society.

While

some people believe that

parents

play an essential role here, others argue that school is the suitable place to learn

this

value. In

this

essay, I will

disscuss

Correct your spelling

discuss

both sides of the topic.

Parents

have a vital contribution in shaping their kids' identities.

This

is because children

Change the verb form

are

show examples

very good

Change preposition

show examples

impersonating and like to mimic everything they see,

consequently

Add a comma

consequently,

show examples

the raisers can both consciously and unconsciously influence their child.

For example

, youngsters always see their

parents

' reaction when receiving unpleasant news, so that they know how to give an appropriate expression when they are

disapointed

Correct your spelling

disappointed

. Evidently, children will

mirroring

Change the verb form

mirror

be mirroring

show examples

their

Change the word

the

show examples

folks who nurtured them.

On the other hand

, learning how to be an

excelent

Correct your spelling

excellent

community member in school would be necessary.

This

is because pupils spend half of their days in class.

Moreover

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

will equip and

ehance

Correct your spelling

enhance

students' character by creating a supportive environment for self-development.

For instance

, teachers often make study groups which can enhance their social skills, and

eventually

Add a comma

eventually,

show examples

they will learn how to be kind

with

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show examples

others. It can

therefore

be argued that the role of education institutions

are

Change the verb form

show examples

paramount in promoting juveniles' character as society members. In conclusion,

although

youngsters gain practical knowledge from their

parents

, they still need to be

quipped

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equipped

show examples

with comprehensive

theoritical

Correct your spelling

theoretical

Thus

, I am convinced that

instutions

Correct your spelling

institutions

contributing

Wrong verb form

contribute

show examples

much more to students' development by their curriculum.

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coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on creating more effective topic sentences that are clearly linked to the subsequent supporting sentences. Transitions between paragraphs should be smoother to ensure that the argument flows logically from one point to the next. While the structure of introduction, body, and conclusion is in place, consider the arrangement of ideas and how one leads to another to better enhance coherence.

task achievement

Regarding task achievement, ensure that you are addressing all parts of the prompt comprehensively. It appears that you understand the topic, but extending your examples and ensuring they are directly relevant to the points you are making could strengthen your argument. Also, work on developing your ideas more thoroughly to demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

243 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others,however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinon.

Word Count

Many people argue that in order to improve the quality of education, high school students should be encouraged to make comments or even critism of their teachers. Others think it will lead to loss of respects and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some experts believe that a second language should be taught at an early age. Do the advantages ouyweigh the disadvantages

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.