IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly salary

The bar chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly salary
#bar #information #families #country #salary
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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of
Use synonyms
families
Change noun form
families'
family's
show examples
 income and shows how they spend their salary from 1986 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
families
Use synonyms
 spent their budget in eight different
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
 which were (food, housing, household
goods
Use synonyms
, personal
goods
Use synonyms
, transport, leisure, fuel and power, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
). The biggest decline was
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
, and personal
goods
Use synonyms
.
Other
Correct article usage
The other
show examples
 three expenses were increased.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 1968 many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
families
Use synonyms
 spent their income on food
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 which was the highest amount exactly 35 per cent. Clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
 was the other second place that showed a decline from 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to half.
Third
Correct article usage
The third
show examples
 and
last
Linking Words
 reduction occurred in personal
goods
Use synonyms
 which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 from 7
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 4
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some
Use synonyms
families
Change noun form
family's
families'
show examples
 expenses
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased during those 50 years. The greatest spending on
leisure
Correct article usage
the leisure
show examples
 department picked the highest point from 9
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to just above 22
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, more than doubled. Housing and transport increased
almost
Change preposition
by almost
show examples
 doubled respectively. Despite all the changes, household foods remained
unchange
Correct your spelling
unchanged
.
Submitted by nurullahgultekin3451 on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words families, goods, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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