The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use
The early chart depicts how Australia consumes average
energy
. The Use synonyms
further
chart illustrates the Linking Words
gas
Use synonyms
emission
effect of the greenhouse as the result of that Use synonyms
energy
use.
Use synonyms
Overall
, in the beginning, most Linking Words
energy
was used for heating purposes. Use synonyms
While
water heating produces the most greenhouse Linking Words
gas
emissions. Use synonyms
Whereas
, in both cooling is less involved.
In the beginning, Australian families used 42% Linking Words
energy
for heating purposes which is the highest Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
that is
used. Linking Words
Further
, they are using 30% Linking Words
energy
for water heating which is 2nd highest. After that, they consume 7% of Use synonyms
energy
for refrigeration or 15% of Use synonyms
energy
consumed for other appliances. Use synonyms
Lastly
, they are using 4 % Linking Words
energy
for lighting and 2% for cooling which is the lowest Use synonyms
ratio
.
Use synonyms
Additionally
, the heating produces 15% Linking Words
gas
emissions. Use synonyms
While
water heating generates 32% of Linking Words
gas
emissions. Use synonyms
This
is the highest Linking Words
ratio
of Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emission
crop. Use synonyms
In addition
, the refrigeration outcomes of 14% gass Linking Words
emission
and other appliances produce 28% gass Use synonyms
emission
which is the 2nd highest Use synonyms
ratio
. In conclusion, lighting generates 8% Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emission
and cooling produces 3% Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emission
which is the lowest Use synonyms
ratio
.Use synonyms
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gas, emission, ratio with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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