The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use
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The early chart depicts how Australia consumes average
energy
Use synonyms
. The
further
Linking Words
chart illustrates the
gas
Use synonyms
emission
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effect of the greenhouse as the result of that
energy
Use synonyms
use.
Overall
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, in the beginning, most
energy
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was used for heating purposes.
While
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water heating produces the most greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
emissions.
Whereas
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, in both cooling is less involved. In the beginning, Australian families used 42%
energy
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for heating purposes which is the highest
energy
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that is
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used.
Further
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, they are using 30%
energy
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for water heating which is 2nd highest. After that, they consume 7% of
energy
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for refrigeration or 15% of
energy
Use synonyms
consumed for other appliances.
Lastly
Linking Words
, they are using 4 %
energy
Use synonyms
for lighting and 2% for cooling which is the lowest
ratio
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the heating produces 15%
gas
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emissions.
While
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water heating generates 32% of
gas
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emissions.
This
Linking Words
is the highest
ratio
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of
gas
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emission
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crop.
In addition
Linking Words
, the refrigeration outcomes of 14% gass
emission
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and other appliances produce 28% gass
emission
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which is the 2nd highest
ratio
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. In conclusion, lighting generates 8%
gas
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emission
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and cooling produces 3%
gas
Use synonyms
emission
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which is the lowest
ratio
Use synonyms
.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gas, emission, ratio with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Sustainable practices
  • Energy efficiency
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Carbon footprint
  • Eco-friendly appliances
  • Insulation
  • Solar panels
  • Recycling
  • Climate change
  • Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
  • Emissions-intensive
  • Energy audit
  • Smart meters
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