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The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with data opened, kilometers of route and passenger numbers per year in millions.

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with data opened, kilometers of route and passenger numbers per year in millions.
#data #railway #systems #six #cities #kilometers #route #passenger #numbers #year #millions
The table illustrates data
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 six important cities over the world, which are
London
, Paris,
Tokyo
,Washington DC ,Kyoto and Los Angeles, which
are providing
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
undergroud transportaion
Correct your spelling
underground transportation
.
This
 data is
eing
Correct your spelling
being
 compared through three factors which are the open date of the
system
, the
distance
 and the
number
 of passengers who are visiting the
system
 yearly. It is clear from the table that there
fluctuations
Add a missing verb
are fluctuations
show examples
 in the
number
 of
visitors
, the
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
distance
 and the
numbe
Correct your spelling
number
 of years of the
system
's
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
. There is a
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 difference between the
Tokyo
system
 and
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
system
.
London
system
 is more ancient than
Tokyo
Correct article usage
the Tokyo
show examples
system
 which were built in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1863 and 1927 respectively.
However
,
Tokyo
Change noun form
Tokyo's
show examples
 underground
railways
 are more used by their passengers which have almost 1927
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 per year
in contrast
 to
London
's
railways
 which have nearly 775
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 passengers yearly.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 closer examination of the figures for
London
's underground
system
 reveals the longest
distance
at
Change preposition
of at
show examples
 least 394
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
.
On the other hand
, Kyoto's underground
systems
 have the shortest
distance
 which is around 11 kilometers of route.
Also
 , they have the lowest
number
 of
visitors
 yearly in comparison to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 five mentioned
systems
.
However
, Los
Aneles's
Correct your spelling
Angeles's
show examples
railways
Change to a genitive case
railway's
railways'
show examples
systems
 are the newest
system
 which
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 built in 2001 and
occupy
Change the verb form
occupies
show examples
 a rank of two in the lowest
number
 of
visitors
 after Kyoto's
system
 which are about 50 and 45
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
visitors
 per twelve months respectively.
This
 table shows that there are some underground
railways
Change the noun form
railway
show examples
systems
 that need to be extended
due to
 the large
number
 of
visitors
 they have despite they are very old
systems
.
Submitted by dianaishaq on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words london, tokyo, system, distance, number, visitors, railways, systems with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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